


If This Dance Catches On

by Goodbyeblueyes



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Love/Hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 09:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goodbyeblueyes/pseuds/Goodbyeblueyes
Summary: He's the frontman of the most popular band in school.She's the girl who tried her best to avoid him at all costs.All it took was one class.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!  
> I'll be honest, I feel kinda weird doing this. I haven't posted any fanfic anywhere in several years - I used to be really prolific when I was younger, and somehow fell back into it recently. I've been working on this one for a while and I'm pretty proud of it, so I figured I'd put it somewhere so other people could see it instead of keeping it for myself. I know everybody always says that, but I'm really hoping I can finish this one. I have a few ideas lined up so I'm thinking posting it will help keep me motivated. Hopefully some of you will read it and enjoy it.  
> Let me know what you think. :)

The lights finally went out, and the whole room exploded in enthusiastic whoops. I had the best seats in the house, yet I was sullen. I was only here for a school project. Otherwise, I never would’ve set foot in this venue. Not when this… pompous asshole’s band was playing.

His name is Ghirahim. As if that doesn’t already tell you what kind of person he is, well, he’s the lead singer and guitarist of this really popular band from our college. Everyone is in love with him for some reason, even though he’s the biggest, prissiest diva I’ve ever seen. I was grateful I had never had much talent for music, because I could just tell being this guy’s bandmate was absolute hell. He probably ordered them around all day and expected them to be at his beck and call, like those really famous lead singers. Except he was only a college kid. A tall, handsome, stylish, rich college kid, but still. A college kid nonetheless. However, I guess being the dean’s son gave him an edge for that as well. He was known to skip class and yet somehow still got above average grades. School was the reason why I’d showed up to his gig in the first place, because as you can tell, I’d never liked the guy.

My spot in the photo pit would only allow me three songs. Three songs was all I had to capture that perfect shot. But when it came to him, I was really glad I was only allotted a mere ten minutes. I couldn’t really stomach much more than that at any given time. Either way, my daydreaming had to come to a halt when the band stepped onto the stage. I had to focus. My grade depended on my ability to get a clear action shot. I readied my camera and furrowed my brow in concentration.

Then it happened. I don’t know how, being that I’d always had a quiet disgust for him, but I was completely enthralled by the performance. Ghirahim was… well, he knew how to work a crowd. He sauntered, smirked, grinned, and winked at perfect intervals. They were wrapped around his little finger. The entire room was gobbling him up, demanding more every time he’d give them a glimpse of what they wanted. I got so caught up that I wasted two entire songs just staring, mouth agape. Then I shook myself off and kicked back into work mode. I’m sure the people at the barricade must’ve wondered what was wrong with the photographer girl.

After I stepped out of the photo pit, I decided to stick around for the rest of the show, intrigued. I mean, their music was nothing special, but Ghirahim was almost magnetic. I was infuriated at how well he played the room, yet I couldn’t stop staring. The fact that it happened to be him I was staring at really irritated me. The entire crowd was yelling his name, grabbing his hands, relishing the kisses he was blowing them. I couldn’t believe it. He was so mean and holier than thou at school, yet he managed to capture every single heart in this room. It probably helped that they only ever really saw him smile on stage. Generally, he’d arbor a pretty disgusted expression on a regular basis. So him flashing his perfect smile tonight made it special. As if he’d only kept it for the people in this room at this moment. Ugh.

Thankfully, even after my blunder during the first two songs, I was able to capture some really nice shots. I mean, Ghirahim was pretty much posing for us in the photo pit. And the camera loved him, which only made me fume even more. I knew I’d get a good grade for any shot I’d submit from the ones I’d managed to snap, but I really didn’t want it to be due to him. Oh well. I had to submit my project by tomorrow, so I was a bit stuck at this point. No time for a redo.

I prepared to leave the room during the last song just to make sure I’d avoid the crowd. I could almost feel Ghirahim’s icy gaze on the back of my neck, being the only person not entirely captivated by his presence. That amused me. I giggled to myself as I left the concert venue, imagining his angered scowl.

* * *

I’d always avoided him at school. The concert was the most I could muster, especially since I’d spent a good portion of the night gawking at him. Gawking! Me! Alice Reinhardt, gawking at Ghirahim. Okay, I have to admit he was good-looking, but still. Him being a giant asshole took all that attractiveness away in my eyes, so I really couldn’t understand how he’d managed to have that effect on me. If my friend Ada ever heard of that, she’d have a heart attack. Or a laughing fit. Or get a heart attack from laughing too much.

I mean, I’m not really anything special. I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I have friends here and there, but never a really big clique like they make it seem in the movies. The only reason Ada would die hearing about me oogling Ghirahim is because she’s the first one I complain to when it comes to him. She’s heard me say how much I hate his sly little grin a million times since we started college together. I feel like she would really have a good laugh if she knew how much he’d commanded my attention. It’s almost like he’d flicked a switch.

School was tolerable, mostly because of Ada and a group of loyal friends. Still, I just can’t wait until I’m done with this whole college thing. I can finally get my diploma, get a job, and move on. I’m not really one for parties, house shows, and what have you. I never understood the college culture, so I tried to stay away from it, even though there always seemed to be a person eager to let me in on it every so often. I’d gone to the odd party but I’d never really seen the appeal. I talked to people, had a drink or two, and headed home early. No point in getting smashed. I had grades to maintain. After all, my family was paying good money for my tuition, so I couldn’t really let it go to waste. We weren’t like Ghirahim, with unlimited funds thanks to daddy. My parents had to work for what we had, so I tried never to take anything for granted. Ada was one of the only people I hung out with consistently, helped by the fact that we were roommates.

Either way, this is me, I guess. And until that night, I was perfectly content with what I had. But just as I thought and hoped my college ride would be seemingly smooth, my luck would have it differently.


	2. Chapter 2

8:10 am rolled around way too quickly the next day. I was sitting in my GNED class in a dingy lecture hall. Introduction to personal finance. I’d chosen it because it seemed easy, especially since I’m a math whiz, but right then it was way too early for this. I’d spent a good portion of the night editing my pictures, growing ever more disgruntled at having to stare at them, so I hadn’t gotten much sleep. I just wanted to go home and have a nap during break, but before that, I had to get through this hellish class with 148 other students.

-Alright guys, so for your end of term project, I want you paired up with someone you don’t usually work with, declared the professor, Mr. Donovan.

A collective groan filled the classroom. Mr. Donovan lifted his hands apologetically, trying to calm down the annoyed students. He was your standard college professor, with graying hair and a beer gut, but his students liked him for his no bullshit attitude.

-I know, I know. But I just need to see that you’re able to work with anyone. You’re not always going to be teamed up with your friends in real life, so you need to start practicing now.

Ugh. Group work. The worst. Being that I was really organized, I always ended up more or less carrying the team and doing the most amount of work. Pretty unfair when it came to grading as we all got the same mark. I’d been dreading the project ever since I’d seen it in the syllabus, and somehow Donovan had made it worse. This was a GNED, for Christ’s sake. Most of us took this for easy marks.

-Alright, so I’ve randomly assigned teams of two. You’ll be expected to meet up once a week and submit reports of your progress. This is a term-long project, so the faster you get to know your partner, the better.

Donovan rattled off the list, starting alphabetically by last name. Since I was in the Rs, I was anxiously waiting for my turn, becoming more and more nervous as people got paired up. Except my name came up way earlier than I was expecting it to, so I almost didn’t catch it.

-Deluca, Ghirahim with Reinhardt, Alice.

My ears started ringing. What? Me, paired up with him? There had to be some kind of mistake. I felt his gaze on me and I knew I must’ve looked panicked because I could feel my heart beating on my temples. I shot him a glance. He curled up his lips in disgust, so unlike the smiling persona he’d presented last night. It immediately made my blood boil.

Donovan continued listing off names until everyone had been assigned a partner, after which he instructed us to sit together and start discussing our ideas for the project. I immediately knew Ghirahim wouldn’t get up from his seat, so I hastily gathered all my stuff. Mr Too Good for You wouldn’t move for just anyone.

I walked over to him, fingers twitching, anger already welled up in my throat. Ghirahim was sat in the leftmost row. He was sprawled out on his chair, resting his back on the wall next to his seat, lazily looking around. His signature blood red scarf was curled around his neck; he’d pulled it up as far as he could, so it partially covered his mouth. His perfectly combed and styled silver locks fell halfway into his eyes. His single earring was gently sparkling, hanging from his right ear. He was looking at the classroom as if we were all beneath him. And here I was, having to work with this human nightmare.

I plopped down in the seat next to him, prompting him to slide his feet under his chair, away from me. In fear I would contaminate him somehow? Who knows.

-Hey.

He grunted in response, not even looking my way. I could tell this was going to be hell, and I really wasn’t keen on having any of it at that moment.

-Listen, man. I don’t like you as much as you don’t like me, so do me a favour and cut the theatrics. You’ll make it that much easier for the both of us if I don’t have to extract every single interaction from you through gritted teeth. The less we talk, the better I’ll feel, so let’s just get this over with.

He finally turned his gaze to me.

-… Fine. That works for me. I’d rather not be seen in public with people like you.

-Well, excuse me for not being rich, but I have a class to pass and no time to waste on spoon-fed pricks.

He lifted an eyebrow, seemingly curious that I wasn’t succumbing to his charms. Yeah, more like I didn’t take any of his shit, and he wasn’t used to that. I bet you daddy the Dean gave him whatever he wanted growing up, and that’s probably why he ended up being so entitled. A slight chuckle escaped Ghirahim’s lips.

-Alright, photographer girl, I guess I can work with that.

***

-Ada! You’ll never believe what happened during GNED today! I called out as I passed the door to our apartment.

I heard the pitter patter of her feet as she rushed to meet me at the door. She was short, slender build, and had ashy blonde hair and kind, wide eyes. I could already see the grin spreading on her face.

-So remember how I told you about that GNED class?

She enthusiastically nodded.

-Well, turns out, Donovan decided to make the term project even more painful. Randomly assigned groups.

I paused for effect. She comically exaggerated a shocked expression, gracing me with an incredulous “no!”

-And guess who got paired up with Mr I’m better than you?

-No way! Ghirahim, really? What are the odds?

-Ugh, I know! I groaned.

-A class of 150 students in a college of 8000 and you end up stuck with the most annoying person ever! Oh, you poor thing!

She put her hand on my shoulder as a sympathetic gesture and gave me a look that I guess was supposed to be pitiful. She held it together for a second longer than I did and we both ended in a fit of laughter.

-Well, you better get ready to spend a lot of time petting his ego! It’s so funny how last night, you thought ten minutes was the most you could stomach of him at a time!

We laughed even harder, but I still felt miserable. Not that Ada was trying to be mean or anything; I just needed to relax and stop focusing on that stupid project. We spent the night together, studying our separate subjects. Ada kept joking about Ghirahim, imitating his pompous drawl, which would make us burst into laughing again. The image of him feeling sorry for himself at being stuck in a group with a mere pleb like me was just too funny, albeit a little too close to home. I could almost hear his exasperated sigh from our apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

Our first meeting set the tone for the rest of the semester. First of all, Ghirahim refused to meet at school or my apartment, so we had to work at crowded cafés because I would  _ not _ go to his fancy mansion. Secondly, he did not plan on cooperating whatsoever even though my ideas were better than his because he couldn’t take defeat or rejection. And to top it off, he barely did any work! It’s like he expected me to pull his weight and kiss his feet because I’d been  _ blessed _ with his mere presence. We were constantly butting heads and it frustrated me to no end.

-I don’t know how many times I need to repeat myself before you get it through your thick skull! We have to keep track of our spending so that we can devise a budget and then follow it for the rest of the semester. It’s really not that hard.

-That’s why we hire accountants. I don’t need to get my hands dirty doing that kind of work, he retorted, looking at his nails.

-Oh my god. Not everyone can afford to pay someone else to do everything, I justified, slapping his hand away from his face so he’d pay attention.

He gave me a horrified look, as if me touching him was beyond his understanding. I wanted to strangle him. I pictured myself reaching across the table to wrap my hands around his neck. No, even better, I could choke him with his own scarf. The image appeased me somehow.

-That’s ridiculous. I won’t ever need to do that sort of thing myself as long as I live.

-Why did you even take that class in the first place, then?

I’d raised my voice without intending to. He found a way to get under my skin every single time.

-No need to shout. I needed the credit, and my parents decided it was a good idea to teach me how to be… independent.

-I’ve never heard anyone say the word “independent” as if it was an insult. You really need to grow up.

He took a look at his watch and stood up.

-Now, this has been anything but pleasant, and I have rehearsal to attend at the moment. So if you’ll excuse me.

He turned heels and hurried out before I could even say a word. I was too flabbergasted that he’d actually just walk out on me without us even making any progress. After I recovered from the shock, I grabbed my planner, angrily stuffed it down my backpack, and walked out of the café.

***

The following week, I was expecting Ghirahim to put up with me as long as necessary. I’d written a scathing report for Donovan about the whole thing, and the professor had emailed Ghirahim, warning him to cooperate. However, as I was making my way to our meeting place, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

“I regret to say I will not be able to meet this week. I’m unfortunately tied up.”

I immediately felt anger shoot through my veins. He was doing it just to spite me, I knew it. I could almost picture his sly grin floating on his lips as he was expecting a furious reply. I typed one up, sneering to myself.

“That’s fine. But expect Donovan to hear about it the minute I get home.”

I giggled some more to myself, knowing he’d be fuming once he read my text. Sure enough, a reply came a few seconds later.

“We can meet tomorrow if you prefer. 5 o’clock sharp, same place?”

I agreed. Once the next day rolled around, I almost regretted cornering him. I wished I’d just emailed Donovan about it because Ghirahim went right back to getting on my nerves. We kept arguing, and he got so offended that he ended up getting us kicked out of the café.

-Great, now we can’t meet here because you can’t keep your voice down.

-Well, maybe if you stopped being so hard-headed, we wouldn’t have to argue in the first place, he snapped.

I laughed. Coming from him, it was absurd.

-Oh, that’s rich! You think you can give me humility lessons?

I grabbed his scarf and brought his head down to my level.

-Listen here, princess, I’m not taking any of it from you, alright? You need to learn to take that stick of your ass. The world doesn’t belong to you.

I saw an angry flush appear on his face. He seemed unable to find the words that would properly explain his frustration towards me. He stuttered for a bit, then turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I yelled out after him, calling him ridiculous, and saw him tense up even more. He let out a cry of rage and continued stomping away.  

After a month, I’d had enough. We’d barely made any headway in the project and I was blaming him entirely. We just kept bickering, and it was slowly driving me nuts. I’d emailed Donovan about it again and he asked to see me after class that week. After the other students had been dismissed (but not before Ghirahim shot me a disgruntled look), I came up to the professor’s desk.

-What can I do for you, Miss Reinhardt?

-It’s about that email I sent you Monday. As you know, my partner and I are disagreeing on how the project should be handled.

Donovan sighed and crossed his arms. He suddenly looked exhausted.

-I understand that, Miss Reinhardt, but everyone else is getting along. I don’t see the point in splitting up two groups and re-assigning partners right now because you guys can’t put your differences aside. A lot of other teams are making good progress, I really don’t want to throw that away. We’re already quite a ways into the semester.

I barely heard the end of his sentence. I’d gotten stuck at “differences.”

-Put our differences aside? I don’t understand why I’m being blamed here. Ghirahim is the one who refuses to compromise and I will not take a zero just because he can’t deflate his ridiculous ego!

-Alice. Calm down. I know Mr Deluca can be hard to deal with, but I really would prefer not to split you up. I’ll have a serious talk with him. I’ll devise some consequences for him if he continues, and if anything else comes up, let me know. Worst comes to worst, I’ll have you do the project separately, but I really want you guys to learn to work together.

I sighed, still frustrated. It made me sick that Ghirahim could get away with acting like that unpunished while still reaping the benefits of my hard work.

-Fine. That’s better than nothing, I guess. Thank you.

I turned my heels and stormed out before he could reply.

***

Ghirahim was waiting for me outside the door, looking completely uninterested. He straightened out when he saw me exit the classroom. I completely ignored him and walked right past. He called for me and I was delighted to hear the annoyance in his voice. I only walked faster.

Once I got home, I slammed the door open and announced at the top of my voice:

-Get the gang together, Ada, we’re ordering pizza tonight!

-Ooooh! She exclaimed expectantly from the kitchen. Any special occasion we’re celebrating? How’d it go with Donovan?

-Bad! He refused to split us up. My phone has been buzzing constantly since I left school and I can only imagine the insult-filled texts these notifications are coming from since I completely ignored Ghirahim. So let’s have a good time and not think about it! Pizza’s on me!

Ada burst out laughing:

-Alice! How dare you? The prince of the school, snubbed by a girl? You’re in a world of trouble!

I joined in her laughter. We got to setting up for the night. I ordered the pizzas and Ada texted a group of friends about our get together. They arrived shortly thereafter, and we spent most of the night eating pizza, watching movies, playing video games, and generally hanging out. I only looked at my phone after everyone had gone home, knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer. Ghirahim had sent me a barrage of text messages, each one whinier than the last.

“Alice! How dare you ignore me! Turn back this instant!”

He sent a few more along those same lines, sounding exactly like the entitled jerk I knew him to be. Then, a few minutes later, he tried a different approach: “What did Donovan say????? Alice?????”

The next ones were sent less than a minute apart from each other, after he’d waited a bit to see if I would reply.

“Come back here NOW”

“I can’t believe you made me run after you! How undignified!!!”

“Alice!!!!!”

“...fine. Please?”

“I can’t have my father hear about this...”

“You’re not going to tell him, are you?”

“Please :(?”

Then, there was a big pause. He’d waited half an hour to send me this last one:

“FINE. You can do your stupid project on your own since you’re so much better than me!!!”

It was followed by a string of angry emojis. I’d only really given him my number for the project’s sake, but at this point, I wished I hadn’t. I sighed. I knew I would have to face Ghirahim sooner or later, but I was really hoping I could put it off as long as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

Generally speaking, I’d had decent luck avoiding Ghirahim so far. That luck had obviously run out. Seeing as I was a math major and he took literature, we normally should have not crossed paths that often. Except, he somehow had found my morning class for the following day (thanks, Dean Deluca) and was expecting me at the door, arms folded, leaning against the wall. My annoyance must’ve registered on my face because he immediately help up his hands to try to appease me.

-I’m not here to fight. Donovan gave me a scolding yesterday after you left, and once he told my father, I got it at home, too. My father was furious. I’m expected to be on my best behaviour with you regarding the project, or else.

I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

-I came here to… apologize.

He said it as if even the word himself was gross, like pronouncing it was sullying his mouth. He paused.

-...I’m waiting.

-I’m… sorry, he conceded through gritted teeth.

He looked away, a rosy glow spreading on his face. I think he tried concealing it with his hair, but it was too late. I’d already seen it.

-For what? I cruelly asked, relishing in his discomfort.

-For… acting out. It was childish. Now let me go before I humiliate myself even further.

He spun on his heels and started walking away. I heard him mutter to himself as he turned the corner, probably thinking I was out of earshot. Something about “ridiculous,” I think? The flustered look on his face as he apologized had me giggling all the way through my class that day.

***

The Dean must have threatened to take away his allowance or something, because following that altercation, Ghirahim was indeed on his best behaviour. Now, don’t get me wrong. He still managed to press every single button I had. Just when I would start thinking he might not be so horrible after all, he would say something incredibly pompous, or entitled, or simply just mean, and would take us right back to square one. The looming threat was effective, however, because with one look he would catch himself and go back to polite disdain, and the cycle began anew.

The tail end of summer quickly turned into fall, and soon enough, the trees were bare and covered in snow. The world as we knew it felt crisper, sharper, more muffled. The snow swallowed a lot of the ambient sounds, as if the air itself had fallen asleep. As the workload intensified, the weather correspondingly chilled, and windbreakers turned into jackets, tuques, scarves, gloves, and fur-lined boots. Hot drinks started flowing, and before we knew it, Christmas decorations made their appearances in malls around town. The semester was coming to an end. Everyone would finally be able to get some much needed rest before doing it all over again.

Between all my classes, coursework, midterms, hanging out with Ada, working on the project with Ghirahim, and having a part-time job to earn a bit of spending money, I was kept pretty busy for the rest of the semester. My mom called every week, wanting to know all the exciting things I was getting into. We mostly talked about school because I wasn’t really getting caught in many shenanigans, and I didn’t want to tell her about Ghirahim. She kept encouraging me and saying she was proud of me for being such a good student. It was a bit cheesy, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

As for Ghirahim, other than getting on my last nerve, he’d also kept busy. He and his band had played another few shows here and there. Every time a new one was announced, the entire school would buzz. I refused to go every single time, even when Ghirahim himself invited me. I suspected he did it out of politeness so his father would get off his back. Or maybe so I’d tell Donovan that he had been acting in good faith with me so he’d be a bit more merciful when he graded us. Either way, he would ask me to come but I could see the relief on his face whenever I refused, which coincidentally almost made me want to go just to spite him. But I didn’t, instead choosing to ignore him as much as possible.

***

-I have good news, Ada announced excitedly, a few weeks before finals were scheduled to start.

-Oh?

I felt like I knew what she was going to say. I’d heard murmurs of someone throwing a huge party for the end of the semester, but I had no intentions of going.

-You know Ryan Peterson, the robotics guy?

Ryan was pretty well-known around school for putting us on the map. He’d won a few robotics engineering contests and had appeared in the campus paper quite a bit as a result. He was a likeable guy who was known to be a good time, and was on good terms with almost everyone.

-Yeah, of course.

-Well, he’s throwing the end of the semester party again, and we’re invited! She blurted out hurriedly, unable to contain it anymore.

She’d barely had time to take off her boots and jacket before she delivered the message, too busy looking for my reaction.

-You mean  _ you’re  _ invited. There’s no way I’m going. A party that size is gonna set off my social anxiety something fierce.

That’s not what she wanted to hear. I could see it in her eyes.

-Oh, come on, Alice! she pleaded, following me into the living room. It’ll be fun! You never go out with me!

-I really don’t like stuff like that, Ada, and you know that. We can hang out anytime. We live together.

-It’s not the same! Please please please please please!

She kept repeating the word, joining her hands in supplication. I felt bad for turning her down, but I knew for a fact I wouldn’t enjoy myself in a stuffy house crowded with drunk people. We argued back and forth a bit more, and I cut our conversation short before either of us really got annoyed.

-I need to focus on finals. I have a million assignments due in the next two weeks.

She saw right through my excuse, but decided to leave it at that, thankfully. I didn’t really want to fight with Ada, but she had a way of not letting go once she got an idea in her head. I could still see a determined spark in her eyes, which could only mean trouble, but I refused to acknowledge it.

***

In the following two weeks, Ada made sure to reference the party every chance she got. That, coupled with the stress of the upcoming finals, and Ghirahim being increasingly demanding regarding our GNED project, made me miserable. I couldn’t have respite anywhere. When I got home from school and managed to catch up on assignments, Ada was harassing me about the party. When I would go to school, trying to avoid her, Ghirahim would dog me almost everywhere, obsessively going over every single little detail of our project until I could recite it in my sleep. I’d finally had enough a week later, and snapped at him after he’d followed me to my calculus lecture. Ignoring him hadn’t worked as I was still subjected to his incessant babbling, so I turned around on my heels and stuck a finger under his nose.

-Listen, man, leave me the hell alone. I swear to god I will gouge your eyes out and report you to Donovan for harrassing me. No, even better, I’ll tell your dad. Then you’ll really get it.

-Oh dear, how unbecoming! he stuttered, shocked by my outburst.

His expression said he wasn’t sure if I was serious, but he seemed to think it was better to drop the issue than risk losing his sight. I gave him an insistent look, like “try me, buddy.”

-Fine, fine, no need to be so vulgar, Alice! You could have told me you felt this way earlier, you know.

-You’re as dense as they get! I have. Several times. Now fuck off, I growled in a low voice.

He wisely decided to leave me alone after that, but I could tell from the shared file on our school’s cloud storage that he kept obsessively editing it. I resisted the urge to leave aggressive comments on his edits, not wanting to make the situation worse for myself.

Finals rolled around, and despite my nervousness, I thought I did okay. Ada was ecstatic about being done for the semester, and everyone seemed to be excited to go home to their families. That is, before the Christmas-induced panic set in.


	5. Chapter 5

The night of Ryan’s party had finally arrived, and Ada was determined now more than ever to get me to come. It was the last day of finals, so most of the student body would be heading back home the following day for the Christmas break. I had quite a bit of last minute packing to do myself, as my mom was expecting me to drive out the next morning.

-Ada, I already told you, I really don’t want to go to this stupid party! I exclaimed, annoyed, as she pushed me towards the front door.

She’d forcibly removed me from my bedroom minutes earlier, and had no intention of stopping at that. She was much stronger than me despite my being taller. She gave me a disapproving look and firmly put my winter jacket in my hands.

-Come on, Alice, it’s the end of the semester! Everyone’s going, because we won’t see each other for a while because of Christmas and all. Just stay for a little bit, and then we can go home.

-Fine! But I’m not dragging your drunk ass home, and the minute I say we go, we go!

I’d only conceded so she would leave me alone. I still didn’t feel like going, but when Ada got like this, there was no way around it. I’d just have to find a way to slip out early without her noticing.

-Okay, okay! Whatever you say, princess Reinhardt. Jesus. If that’s what it takes to make you come with!

We headed out, and as we walked, we made idle conversation. I was kind of anxious but I couldn’t really complain about it to Ada. She seemed excited. By the time we made our way to the party house, her cheeks were rosy and I couldn’t tell if it was the cold or the anticipation. My stomach sank from nervousness once we turned the corner. I’d been to parties, but nothing of this scale. The music was booming, there were people seemingly everywhere, and here I was, the most ordinary girl of the school, the one who barely got out of the house on weekends, attending this huge rager. I shot Ada a nervous glance.

-Come on, it’ll be fun. 

She grabbed my arm and we headed in, waving to the guys on the porch on the way. As soon as we stepped in, Ada and I got caught in a whirlwind. She introduced me to all of her friends from her program, and I was trying to cram all their names in my head at once. Someone handed us a drink, then two, then three. I sort of lost count after that. Before I knew it, I was sat down in the living room with a few other people. They were playing “never have I ever” when we walked in.

-Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt!

-Oh, not at all, gleefully said a boy with short brown hair and glasses. You can join us if you want. It’s more fun with more people.

-Nah, I’m okay. I’ll just watch, I declined. But you can if you want, I added, turning to my roommate.

We watched a few rounds, and after a while, they coaxed me into participating. Ada had joined from the get go, being a much better sport. I guess the group must’ve read my personality pretty quick because they ended up having me drink on almost every single turn. To my surprise, I was having fun. Ada was looking at me with a glimmer in her eye.

-I told you it would be fun.

I was about to retort something snarky when we heard a commotion at the door. At first, our inebriated brains couldn’t really seem to piece it together. Then, it clicked.

-Oh, no, I whispered, giving Ada a panicked expression.

My suspicions were confirmed when we heard cries of “Ghirahim! Ghirahim’s here!” coming from the vestibule. I looked at Ada, completely defeated. She started giggling. I was in no way ready to handle Ghirahim in my current state.

-Come on, Ada, let’s go.

-Oh, Alice, please. Party’s just starting, come on. I promise I’ll protect you from him.

It took him a while to get to the living room because he kept getting interrupted by every single person present in the house. Or so it seemed. I’d been hearing him make him way through the crowd, laughing, smiling, exchanging pleasantries with everyone. I really didn’t feel like hearing him butter up unsuspecting students all night, so I tried making a run for it, but Ada wouldn’t let me. Just before he entered the room, he leaned against the doorway as he was making conversation with three giggling girls who were fawning over him. I groaned. I’d never seen someone flip their hair or wink so much at one time. The girls got progressively more giggly every time he did it.

He’d kept on a long jacket, even though the house was incredibly warm due to the amount of people present. He was sporting his signature blood red scarf, but he’d paired it with designer shoes, a long black shirt, and blindingly white pants. He’d even changed his earring so the gem would match his clothes. It looked a lot like everything else he owned, but I could tell he’d put time and effort into choosing his outfit. I mean, he was also several hours late, so I could only imagine that was part of the reason.

I was in the middle of wondering whether he ever washed that stupid scarf when he spotted me, and a grin played on his lips. He quickly dismissed the group of girls and sauntered towards me, taking no notice of the attention he was receiving. Ada and I had stood up from the couch at that point, and I’d tried to hide away in a corner of the room, to no avail.

-Alice! What a pleasant surprise. I did not expect to see you here tonight.

-Ghirahim, fashionably late as usual. It’s not like you to make your admirers wait, I sarcastically said, motioning at everyone around the room.

-I will have you know, I was only that late because I was putting together my look for the occasion. A man of my standing is expected to have an impeccable appearance at all times, he retorted, playing into it. You can’t rush perfect. Plus, I doubt someone whose social life can only be described as abysmal would understand.

He gave me an exaggerated bow. I rolled my eyes.

-What? Are you not impressed? he inquired, gesturing to his clothes.

-Am I the fashion counsel now? Is this a promotion from the secretary position I’ve had this whole semester? I joked with venom.

He gave a hearty laugh. I narrowed my eyes and elbowed Ada, who’d started giggling along. That’s when Ghirahim seemed to notice her for the first time.

-Excuse me, it seems I didn’t quite catch your name.

He extended his hand, and she offered hers in return. He bowed again and planted a quick kiss on her hand. I saw the blush come to her cheeks and I gave her an incredulous look.

-Ada, she managed to blurt out, giggling. I’m Alice’s roommate.

-Wonderful. Very nice to make your acquaintance. 

I fake-gagged at his reply. He shot me a quick look; I saw anger briefly flash in his eyes before he recovered his calm demeanor. 

-In any case. The other reason for my tardiness was that I play parties like I play shows. It’s all a matter of performance. You have to build the anticipation to get the reaction you want, he quietly explained, hoping no one would hear.

I couldn’t believe my ears.

-You mean you’re faking it for all these people? You actually don’t like any of them for real?

-Precisely, he mused, a sly grin playing on his lips. In order to get what I want in life, I will play the game to my advantage.

-You’re unbelievable! Have you ever, even once in your life, taken someone else’s feelings into consideration? 

He gave me an unapologetic look and shrugged. I groaned, disgusted. Spending all that time with him this semester hadn’t made me like him more one single bit. Ada, however, seemed completely taken with Ghirahim. She had the same look those girls had earlier when he kept flipping his hair ar them. She grabbed a drink out of someone’s hand and handed it to him with a smile, trying to cut the tension. He accepted it with a gracious nod. He started chatting with her, seemingly being done with me, and I slipped away unnoticed. I didn’t feel like dealing with his antics. I’d had a good night so far, and I planned on keeping the streak going. 


	6. Chapter 6

I wandered around the house, going to whichever group of people caught my attention. I watched a few rounds of beer pong, had conversations with people who would never normally speak to me, and played a few hands of Cards Against Humanity. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, and it was nice, albeit a little exhausting, to talk to so many people without feeling like they were judging me. The party was starting to die down when Ghirahim re-appeared at my side, unannounced and unaccompanied.

-Alice! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all night!

He seemed more enthusiastic than usual, but otherwise, his behaviour was unchanged. It was hard to tell how much he’d had to drink.

-Looking for me? I thought you had enough of me when you started flirting with my roommate. I’m sure you’d rather spend time with your fan club.

He sauntered towards me, looking offended, and put his hands on my shoulders. They were surprisingly warm.

-Quite the opposite! I’ve been telling everyone how delightful your company has been these past few months!

He must’ve been loaded. His hair was starting to get messy, and he couldn’t seem to be able to keep it out of his eyes. Plus, there was no way he would tell me those things sober. Me? Delightful? We’d done nothing but infuriate each other all semester. To be fair, I couldn’t really judge him for being smashed since I had gotten good and drunk myself. And as it turns out, I’m a pretty touchy drunk. Ghirahim being Ghirahim, he was his usual haughty self. Or did it seem more seductive somehow?

-Oh, come on, don’t lie to me. I know we’ve both never really liked each other, I mused, also putting a hand on his shoulder.

He gave me an exaggerated offended look, scoffing and putting his hand on his chest.

-How dare you? I’m positively scandalized!

He then seemed to switch off the act.

-Come, sit with me. I’ve been meaning to spend time with you all evening.

He pulled me towards the couch. Its occupants got up the second they saw who was approaching. I rolled my eyes. As I was trying to sit down next to him, wondering what he could possibly want with me, he grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him. It was too late to stop my motion, so I sat fully in his lap. Plus, I was clumsier than usual due to the alcohol. I started giggling, embarrassed.

-What are you doing?

I turned to look at him, still laughing, expecting an apology any second. Except with the way he was looking at me, my breath caught in my throat.

-Alice, Alice, Alice. How silly. How innocent. It’s endearing, really.

When did his face get so close? I felt warm, suddenly. All I could think of was that his grey eyes were so pale they almost looked white.

-Ghirahim… I murmured.

I could feel his breath on my face, which was coincidentally turning red. Heat rushed to my cheeks. I think by that point I’d also realized we were attracting a lot of attention, but I couldn’t look away. It’s like he’d turned that magnetism he used on stage back on. He grinned.

-I think we both misjudged each other, Alice.

He pushed back a strand of hair behind my ear and slid his hand on my cheek. I couldn’t breathe. Had I been clutching his shirt that hard this whole time? He gently pressed his nose against mine. My heart was pounding in my chest, my mouth was dry, and my limbs felt like concrete. I was dizzy, and I couldn’t really tell if it was from the booze.

Ghirahim softly nuzzled my face, forcing me to tilt my head back until he could reach my lips, and before I could react, planted a light kiss on my mouth. My intoxicated body immediately screamed for more, but my mind was boiling with rage. It’s as if I was on fire and I couldn’t stop it. I shoved him off, incredulous.

-What the hell do you think you’re doing? I hissed.

He frowned and anger flashed in his eyes.

-You refuse me?

His tone was offended, which only served to enrage me more. I violently stood from his lap, my fists balled to my sides, my back straight as an arrow.

-Who do you think you are? Think you can kiss any girl just cause you feel like it? Well, you’re sorely fucking mistaken, Ghirahim! You’ve been insufferable this whole semester and I really don’t understand what makes you think I want to spend one more second with you!

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I didn’t care. I was fuming.

-You may be the most popular guy in school but not everyone likes you, and the minute you graduate, that’s gone, buddy! The world isn’t gonna be at your feet forever just because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth! Get over yourself!

-How dare you? You should be honoured to have been kissed by me. I’m the dean’s son, and I front the most popular band at this college. Any girl in this room would have died to be in your place. Go on, ask them!

He furiously motioned at the now silent room, waving his arm in an encompassing gesture.

-No thanks, I spat.

I stormed out of the living room, trying to find Ada. A frightened first year in her program told me she was upstairs with a few other girls. I stomped up the stairs, Ghirahim on my tail.

-Ada! Come on! We’re going home! I called out.

Before I could step out onto the mezzanine, Ghirahim grabbed my arm and lead me to an empty bedroom, amongst the concerned stares of the people around the banister. I thrashed around, hoping to shake him off, but his grip was surprisingly strong. He closed the door behind him and turned around to face me.

-You… you… brat! You embarrassed me in front of everyone!

A red flush had reached his face.

-How will I ever face my peers now that they’ve all seen me be utterly rejected? You’ve undone years of work! I’ve cultivated a perfect image and you ruined it with a snap of your fingers!

His outburst was completely ridiculous, but the alcohol in me amplified my anger. Normally I would’ve laughed it off. However, I was so furious that I wasn’t thinking clearly. 

-You’re the most condescending person I’ve ever met in my life! You’re self-absorbed, self-serving, arrogant, and lazy! You only use people for your benefit and then toss them aside when they’ve served their purpose! You’re despicable and I will not let you step all over me just because you’re the dean’s son!

I’d stepped closer to him somehow. He stared me down, towering over me. I felt like I was going to explode.

-If I wasn’t holding back, I would… I would…

The intense emotions he was feeling must’ve been clouding his judgement, because he was struggling to find the words. He was normally so well-spoken, so it was surprising to see him flail like that.

-You would what, Ghirahim? What? I growled.

He took the few steps separating us, grabbed my head between his hands, and violently kissed me. At first, this only served to ignite my anger further. Then the alcohol-soaked side of me, that same one that had caught fire at first contact in the living room, took over. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been kissed, apart from a few minutes earlier. Or I could, but it didn’t matter. All I wanted in that moment was to be kissed again, more, longer.

I didn’t really understand how I could leap from wanting to strangle him to that. Then I strangely noticed that I was still furious with him, and that anger fueled me. I leaned in, a bit too eagerly, and hungrily kissed him back. I felt him laugh. I found his lips warm and soft, and he was curiously delicate. But I didn’t want delicate. I wanted to ruin him. After the second nibble on his lower lip, he finally understood what I was after, and he delivered, leaving me lightheaded. I was angrily clutching at every part of him I could reach, his face, his hair, his neck, his wrists, his clothes, almost to the point of pain. But I didn’t care if he got hurt. I broke off the embrace several minutes later, shoving him as far away from me as possible.

We looked at each other, panting. His face was flushed and judging from the heat I felt on my cheeks, mine was too. Not wanting to process my emotions, I formulated one simple thought:

-I’m leaving.

I hurriedly walked out of the room without giving him a second look and slammed the door behind me. I was so flustered I forgot to get Ada and haphazardly started walking home. I was hoping the cold would numb my racing mind. What the hell had happened?


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I felt was nausea. I groaned and shut my eyes tighter, not wanting to fully wake up. Then the shame for having left Ada behind kicked in. Which led me to think about why I’d left in such a hurry in the first place. I made an exasperated sound and stuck a pillow over my head, hoping to block my thoughts. I lay that way for a few minutes until I figured I should look at my phone.

Ada had sent me a couple typo-filled texts, wondering where I was. She then stated she was headed home. Once she got to the apartment, she’d checked in my room to find me already in bed and fast asleep, which was a relief. I felt awful, but not as bad as I did regarding Ghirahim.

He was another matter entirely. How I’d brought myself to make out with him was a complete mystery. I was hoping he had been shitfaced enough to forget so that I could never speak of it to anyone. Then I remembered our altercation in the living room and my hopes vanished. The entire college would be talking about it. I checked my phone again and sighed. He’d also bombarded me with drunken messages, except his were typed in perfect grammar. Typical.

“Aliiiice. Aaaaalice. Where did you go?”

“Come back!”

“You left me here :(“

It quickly devolved into his usual entitled whining. As I was reading through the rest of his messages, my phone buzzed again. It was him. My heart leapt out of my chest.

“Can we talk?”

-Nope nope nope nope nope, I grumbled, throwing my phone across the bed as if it was a venomous creature.

I stared at it, praying I wouldn’t receive additional notifications. Ghirahim being an avid string texter, however, I didn’t have much hope. Soon enough, my phone was vibrating almost non stop. Then I realized it was because he was calling me.

-Oh hell no.

I ignored his call and waited. He left a voicemail. Then called again.

-Oh my god, take a hint, you socially inept diva!

I decided to just turn my phone off. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with his incessant messaging. I got up with a sigh. I peeked out in the hallway to see if Ada was up; her door was still closed. Apologies would have to come later. For now, packing.

I was almost done when I heard stirring down the hall. I was hoping Ada wouldn’t be mad at me. I figured she’d come into my room on her own if we were still good. If not, I’d have to make the first move. I was just formulating that thought when I heard my door creak. Ada poked her head inside, her eyes still sleepy.

-Hey, she smiled, quiet as a mouse. 

-Hey. I’m really sorry about last night. I’m glad you’re not mad.

She scratched her head sleepily.

-I mean, it sucked that I couldn’t find you, but a third year in my program walked me here. So I made it out okay.

-That’s good.

She gave me a look. 

-So…

Long pause. I really didn’t want her to ask.

-What happened? 

I could see her struggle to contain a smile. There was no way she didn’t have at least an inkling of the situation, but she wanted to hear it from me. I ran my hands on my face with a sigh.

-I’m sure you’ve heard about Ghirahim and I fighting. I mean, I’m sure you’ve heard us yourself. Well, don’t ask me how, but we ended up… Making out? Angrily? That’s why I left. I freaked out and just bolted. 

Her jaw dropped. She did not expect that one single bit. Then, her surprised expression slowly morphed into a ridiculous smile.

-ALICE! HE LIKES YOU!

-What? No! What are you talking about? We were drunk, Ada. Drunk and arguing. There’s no way it meant anything.

She wasn’t listening to me. She started hopping around me, singing “he likes you!” repeatedly. 

-Ada, no! Stop it!

I tried grabbing her but she kept sidestepping. She started laughing and I soon joined in.

-Listen! Stop being a dummy! I have to finish packing then I’m heading home. My mom expects me for dinner.

-Alright, alright, I’m done. Just remember, Alice…

She stepped out of my room and put her hand on the doorknob. 

-Don’t-

-He likes you!

She then shut the door as quickly as possible. I could hear her laughing in the hallway as her footsteps were receding. I shook my head, chuckling, then got back to packing. I’d emptied out my bag and repacked it twice when I heard another knock on my door.

-What? I gruffly asked. I told you I’m busy. 

I exaggerated the irritation in my voice as a joke, hoping to get a rise out of Ada.

-Well, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll just head on back home.

Ghirahim’s familiar drawl reached me as he opened the door, looking sullen. My blood froze. My brain kicked into high gear but my thoughts felt like they were stuck in cement. Completely panicked, I grabbed the nearest object and threw it at his head, hoping he’d just somehow disappear.

-You’re crazy! he yelped.

He’d closed the door to avoid getting the object right on the nose. I only realized I’d thrown a book at him when it hit the wood with a loud slam.

-Fuck, I muttered under my breath. 

-I came here to talk because there are some issues we need to sort out regarding last night, but obviously, I was mistaken in thinking this would go smoothly! He irately spat from behind the door. Let me know when you manage to keep your anger under control!

The irony of Ghirahim lecturing me about anger issues reached my brain but somehow didn’t fully register. I heard a set of footsteps receding, then a muffled but short conversation from the vestibule. Ada was probably asking what had happened and I could tell from his tone that he’d replied curtly. Then the front door slammed. By the time Ada reached my room again, I was holding my head in my hands. She opened the door, wide eyed in disbelief.

-What the fuck is wrong with me?

-What the hell was that?

-I threw a book at his head! I exclaimed, pointing at the evidence by her feet. I’m getting lessons in maturity and conflict handling by Ghirahim, of all people.

-Oh my god, Alice. What the fuck is wrong with you is right. I figured he showed up to ask you about last night but I didn’t know you’d react so violently. He was really freaked out about something when he left but he wouldn’t say what.

-I just… 

I sat down on my bed, dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand what had washed over me.

-I panicked. He texted and called and left a voicemail and called again and I ignored all of it because I couldn’t figure out what the hell happened last night or why or how I felt about it and next thing I know, he’s at my bedroom door! 

I’d spoken so fast I’d forgotten to breathe. She sat down next to me. I could see that she’d given up all hopes of making fun of me when she realized I was actually freaking out.

-Alright, calm down. You can talk to me about it if you want. I can help you figure some stuff out, maybe. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing mind. My heart was still beating in my ears from the shock of having Ghirahim at our apartment. I’d never expected him to come here, ever, but I was especially not ready to handle him right at that moment, and that’s when he coincidentally decided to show up.

-I appreciate it, but I’d really like to just stuff this as far down my subconscious as possible and never speak about it to anyone ever again. Plus, I’m already late. I need to head home if I’m gonna show up for dinner. I wouldn’t really want to get there only for my mom to strangle me.

We both laughed, and Ada offered me a hug and a promise to listen to me whenever I was ready. I thanked her, and finally finished packing. I had a quick breakfast and a shower, then grabbed my stuff and said my goodbye to Ada. I’d still be in touch with her, and we’d only be separated for two weeks, but it would still be weird not having her around for a bit.

My fingers had just stopped twitching when I finally sat in my car. I turned my phone back on, dreading the amount of notifications I was sure to have. It didn’t stop buzzing for a good minute or two. I swiped all of them away without even looking, not wanting to deal with it. I texted my mom to let her know I was on my way, then headed out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Unfortunately for me, I had a few hours to sit by myself and think on the drive home. The same panicked thoughts kept coming and going, coming and going. There just didn’t seem to be any logical explanation for our actions. Sure, we were both drunk, but normally we would just have yelled at each other until one of us got tired of it and left. Not ended up making out. I couldn’t begin to fathom how I felt about the whole situation or why it had happened. I didn’t understand why Ghirahim had started it all. He was a pompous, self-serving asshole who only ended up having to hang out with me by force. He was handsome, and popular, and could have any girl he wanted. So why would he kiss me, the girl who’d caused him so many headaches over the semester? The more I thought about it, the less it made sense, but also, the less I wanted to have to face Ghirahim again. On the positive, we were just starting Christmas break, so I’d have this time without having to see him. We also wouldn’t be taking our GNED together anymore, unless my luck had really turned. On the negative, he had my number, knew where I lived, and could access any information he wanted about me due to his father being the dean. So I could only really avoid him for so long. I sighed, defeated.

I was still trying to get the image of us kissing out of my head when I pulled up into my parents’ driveway. My mom walked out onto the porch, clutching her shirt close due to the cold, and waved at me. She seemed ecstatic. I waved back, parked my car, grabbed my bag, and hopped out.

-Welcome home!

I walked up to her.

-Hi, mom.

She kissed me on the cheek and frowned, concerned.

-Everything alright? You look lost in thought.

-Yeah, I’m good. Just a bit tired from the drive.

She seemed to buy it. It was only an excuse, obviously. My brain was still on fire. She enthusiastically pushed me inside the house, where I hugged my dad. I barely had enough time to put my stuff down before they both rushed me to the kitchen table. We sat, ate, and talked for a while. My parents were both eager to know all about the college life. After we were done, I went to settle in my room. I thought to myself it would be easier to forget about the party, being here with my parents, and having a lot of relatives to go visit for Christmas. The last thought I had before falling asleep was that I would do what it took to avoid Ghirahim as long as possible.

***

The two weeks spent at home went by both fast and slow. My mom, as I expected, had me booked solid. Between the Christmas celebrations, family visits, wanting to see a couple friends, eating, drinking, and parties, I barely had time for myself, which is exactly what I wanted. By the time I headed back to college, my car fuller than when I got home in the first place, I felt a bit more at peace. Not necessarily ready to deal with Ghirahim, but calmer about the situation than before. I’d developed a quiet resolve for self-preservation. Nothing like a home cooked meal, I guess.

I drove back to Ada and I’s apartment a day early, laden with food, hoping to surprise her. When I cracked the front door open, I found the place silent. All the lights were off.

-Ada? I called out, poking my head in.

No answer. Seemed like my master plan had failed. Oh well. I’d eat by myself and watch something online. I hadn’t really had time to relax like that over break, so I wasn’t mad Ada was off doing her own thing. And seeing as she didn’t expect me that night, she hadn’t left a note or anything. I texted my mom I’d made it safely, got to unpacking, and set up in my room for a quiet night in.

A few hours later, as I was getting ready to turn in for the night, I heard her rush in. She’d seen my car in the parking lot, probably. So much for the surprise. I got up to meet her in the hallway.

-Alice!

She launched herself at me. Sometimes I forgot how physical Ada could get. I managed to catch her just in time, and we hugged for a few seconds.

-Hey!

-You could’ve texted me! I would’ve come home and hung out with you instead!

The way she said it, I could sort of tell she’d been hanging out with a guy. Probably the same gentleman that had walked her home from the party.

-It’s all good. My mom had me on a crazy schedule so it was nice to just be by myself for a bit.

-How are your parents? Your friends?

-Good. My mom says hello. Friends are good too. Busy. What about you? Had a good time?

Ada’s parents lived overseas, but seeing as they were pretty well off, they had her fly home whenever school was out. I was a bit envious of her, having never left the country. I didn’t even have a passport.

-Yeah. My aunt got really drunk at our Christmas party and she started dancing on the table and everything. It was hilarious. It was good to see my cousins too.

We spent a bit talking, telling each other stories about our holiday break. Ada wanted to spend more time with me even after we’d exhausted all subjects, so we decided to watch a movie together. A few moments into it, my phone buzzed.

-Who is it? asked Ada lazily.

-Um… Ghirahim.

He was labelled as “Drama Queen” in my phone because it gave me a chuckle every time I’d get a notification from him, but this time it made me nervous. I sighed as Ada gave me an expectant look. How did he know I’d just gotten back into town? He’d left me alone the whole time I was home. I then remembered I hadn’t even read his texts or listened to the voicemails he’d left before I’d headed home for the break.

-I haven’t even looked at anything he sent me since the party. Wanna go through it with me?

Ada left out an ecstatic little “oooh” and leaned in to get a good look.

-I get to take a look into the secret world of Ghirahim’s texting habits. That’s bound to be interesting, she joked.

I knew she was half-serious. For some reason, like everyone else at our school, Ada wanted to learn everything that had to do with him. Seeing as I was one of the rare chosen ones to even have his number, she felt privileged to be able to get an inside look. I started reading the texts aloud, trying to mimic his drawl and his speech patterns. It started out as his usual string of whiny demands the day I left for home. Then, after the book incident, he’d angrily called me childish, immature, and unable to confront issues. Ada and I got a good laugh from that since Ghirahim was the king of acting like a spoilt brat. We were laughing pretty much the whole time, because when you read those texts aloud, they really sounded ridiculous. Once we’d gotten through everything, I read the last one in a normal voice.

“Alice. I know you just got back. I would really like to speak with you before school reconvenes. I feel I’ve been ignored long enough, and we are bound to see each other on campus one day or another.”

I let out an exasperated groan, not wanting to deal with it. I hadn’t had time to figure out my feelings about the whole situation. To be honest, I just didn’t want to. I was hoping to be able to forget all about it, but everyone seemed hell-bent on reminding me every chance they had. I was still confused about what happened, but all I knew was Ghirahim was a prime asshole that got on my very last nerve every time we spoke. I didn’t owe him anything anymore, seeing as the project was done, so I really didn’t feel like sitting down and chatting with him if I could avoid it.


	9. Chapter 9

-I mean, he has a point. You know he’s gonna do anything he can to corner you the minute school starts again. I know you don’t want to, but you guys should really talk, mused Ada. 

-But I don’t want to talk. I know he’s going to annoy me like he always does. I’ll come out of it wanting to strangle him to death. 

-I know you guys are done that GNED together, but you’ve ignored him for two weeks. 

I went to interrupt her, and she preemptively shushed me.

-I know he gets on your nerves. And I know you don’t owe him anything because he’s not your friend. But you guys should at least talk about it. Figure out why it happened. And for god’s sake, apologize for throwing a damn book at his head!

The image of me, panicked, throwing a book at Ghirahim’s head like a cornered animal, had me in stitches. The whole situation was ridiculous. Ada had a point. I felt a pinch of resentment, but it quickly passed. I steeled myself. 

-You’re right, you’re right. What should I say?

-Tell him to come here right now! She giggled.

-What? No! Are you crazy? 

We still had a weekend left before school started again. I didn’t really feel like having him over right this second. Or ever, really. If anything, I’d want it to be in a public place. That way, when (not if) he got on my nerves, I could just head back home and leave it at that. 

-Here, how’s this?

“Hey. I can do tomorrow around 12 if you want. We can go to a café around town or something.”

I didn’t really want to apologize for being distant because I felt like I deserved that much. I didn’t want to concede that he had a point before we even got to meet; he’d come in with a triumphant attitude thinking he’d already won. I wanted it to be neutral. 

-I mean, it could be a little… fluffier I guess? But that’s alright.

He replied almost instantly.

“I will meet you at the usual spot.”

I put my phone down with a groan and covered my eyes, already dreading it. I’d almost hoped he would say no and we could just forget about it. Why did he want to talk so bad? Since when did he want to solve his problems? Ada was staring at me.

-I really don’t get why he’s being mature all of a sudden. The one time I want him to be his usual whiny self, he goes and does this.

Ada giggled. 

-Let’s finish this movie and then tomorrow when you come back from your meeting, you can tell me all about it.

We turned our attention to the movie and I engrossed myself in it, hoping to take my focus off anything else.

***

-Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man.

I was muttering under my breath as I forced myself towards the café. Ghirahim had texted me, letting me know he was already there. My heart was in my throat and my hands were shaking. There was no way I’d be able to down any kind of food or drink. I didn’t really understand why I was so nervous but I sure as hell did not like the feeling. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

My eyes immediately fell on Ghirahim. He’d made sure to find a booth that would give us a bit more privacy than a table, but he was still visible from the door. To be fair, his light silvery hair would be hard to miss anywhere, but he’d still sat facing the entrance to be sure I could see him when I stepped in. Well, there went my plan of making a run for it.

He looked sullen but I could tell he was putting up a façade to hide his nervousness. He was resting his chin on his palm while drumming the fingers of his other hand on the table. The fact that I could sense his antsiness grounded me, made me feel more in control somehow. I sighed deeply, still resisting the urge to bolt, and went to sit down at Ghirahim’s booth.

-Um… hey.

He looked everywhere around the room, deliberately dragging it out, before abruptly stopping his gaze on me. He curled his fingers up mid-tap, stopping the irritating sound.

-Well, hello.

-Let’s get this over with. What do you want?

He groaned.

-Why must you always rush? No patience, this one, I swear.

His reply made me think he’d prepared a speech and I had already somehow ruined his depiction of the scene. I didn’t really feel like sitting through one of his tirades, however.

-Well, first of all, I expect an apology for that outburst at your apartment. And for ignoring my attempts to contact you.

-I mean, I was planning on apologizing, but if you’re forcing it out of me…

He gave me an insulted look. 

-Fine, fine, I’m sorry! No, really, I am. I shouldn’t have thrown a book at your head. I… panicked.

He nodded, accepting my explanation.

-Which leads me to our main topic… the party. Or what happened that night, rather.

He went to explain his reasoning behind his actions. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, folded his fingers together, and opened his eyes again.

-Obviously, even though we refuse to admit it, there is some form of a… spark between us, if you will.

Oh, hell.

-A spark? Come on, Ghirahim, we were both drunk. I was tired and stressed from exams and you not getting off my back about the project. I would’ve made out with anyone that night. I’m a very touchy drunk, as I found out. You and I both know the only common spark between us is a raging desire to strangle the other. It didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Two people can kiss without it being this huge deal. That’s allowed, you know.

As I spoke, I could see his expression descend further into anger. A red flush coloured his cheeks and his eyes turned into two angry slits.

-Is that how you want to play this, Alice?

-What do you mean, play? I’ve been honest with you the whole time. You are very aware how much you infuriate me, I’ve made it pretty clear.

He slammed his hands on the table, startling me. His voice had gone down to a whisper, which was infinitely more menacing.

-I was really hoping we could have a mature conversation about this, but you seem to be deep in denial. I thought maybe you needed time to decipher your feelings, which is why I gave you some space during the holidays. I’ll admit we have had our disagreements, but you’re a fool if you believe it meant nothing. You responded to my advances, that much I remember clearly.

Advances? What the hell had he been smoking? We had just made out a little! 

-I wanted to extend you a formal invitation to our next concert, but until you get your head out of the sand, consider it rescinded, he jeered. Now, goodbye.

He stood up, shouldered his jacket, gave me an offended little “humph,” and headed out without another word. His cheeks were still red and he seemed to try to conceal it under his hair, as if he was embarrassed. I sat there for a while longer, completely dumbfounded.

-Advances? I muttered to myself.

***

-Alice. I told you he likes you.

-Oh, come on, Ada.

I threw a pillow in her general direction. I was lying on my bed, facing the ceiling, and she was sitting cross legged on the floor, her back to the mattress. She easily dodged my attempt to hit her, giggling. I’d just recounted the disastrous café scene and she was gobbling it all up, loving every second of it.

-He probably just thought I’d  _ succumbed  _ to his  _ demonic charms  _ like all the other girls at school. Including you, might I add! I chirped, sitting up.

I could see the red glow that would serve to confirm my quip spreading on her cheeks.

-I mean, he is attractive, but that’s besides the point.

-Ugh!

I rolled my eyes. I still couldn’t believe he’d used the word “advances.” The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to punch him in the face. At least, that’s what I thought I felt in the pit of my stomach. 

-I’m just gonna avoid him at school at all costs and that’s it. I don’t owe him anything.

Ada tried convincing me otherwise, but my mind was made up. She eventually dropped it and we made idle chatter for the rest of the evening.


	10. Chapter 10

As it turns out, I didn’t have to try to avoid Ghirahim; he was doing a fine job on his own. Obviously, our programs being different, we weren’t on the same schedule. But on the rare occasion we had a class in the same vicinity or he had some business with someone in my area of the school, I would see him tense up and head in a different direction as quickly as possible. One time I even saw him emerge at the end of a corridor, spot me, turn around, take a different hallway, and emerge on the other side having completely sidestepped me. Now, I was glad for the respite, but I was starting to get irritated with his antics. I felt like he was putting way more effort into avoiding me than it would take to just ignore me. A nagging feeling kept tugging at the back of my brain; while I didn’t mind going unnoticed, I couldn’t bear being openly disliked in such an obvious and visceral way. Other students had started to notice, too, and the whispers were slowly reaching my ears. Ghirahim was making no effort to dismantle them, which only served to add more fuel to the fire. All in all, it was a pretty unfavorable position to be in.

After weeks of the same old thing, I’d had enough. I could understand Ghirahim wanting to stay away, but the fact that he was letting people talk about me rubbed me the wrong way. We weren’t the best of friends, but I felt like he could at least set people straight; he owed me that much. I tried cornering him for several days but he kept running away. His legs were much longer than mine, and he dashed around the school like a bunny. If I wasn’t so irritated with him, I probably would have been impressed. 

Any attempt to text or call went unanswered as well. I’d tried repeatedly to no avail. I was starting to wonder if he’d even blocked my number. Then, one day, I was trying to formulate a plan to corner him effectively after he’d slipped from my grasp for the umpeenth time. As I stared at my phone intently, brows furrowed, sending apologetic text number 527, I bumped full force into someone. I’m a pretty fast walker, so the impact winded me for a second.

-Oh, I’m so sorr- hey!

The instant I saw him turn heels, I grabbed Ghirahim’s scarf so he couldn’t make a run for it. Because of course I’d bumped into him out of anyone else at the school.

-Come on, man, I just want to talk. You’ve been actively running away from me for weeks now.

He was still trying to pull free but my voice seemed to break his resolve. He stopped fidgeting but didn’t turn around.

-I was merely serving you the same immature attitude you displayed when we had that disastrous meeting, he protested coldly.

My expression hardened.

-You keep saying you want to have a mature conversation and then you go and pull shit like that. You could at least turn around and look at me.

He sighed, bowed his head, crossed his arms, and turned around, a sour look on his face.

-Yes?

-Honestly, I really don’t mind if you don’t want to talk to me or something. But you’ve been acting weird, and people have been talking, and it’s bugging me.

I explained my reasoning to him, about the avoidance and the rumours and my growing irritation with it all. The mask he’d composed cracked and, for a brief instant, he looked exhausted. He ran a hand on his face as if to brace himself.

-I must admit it has been pretty tiring to try not to cross paths with you. I will stop doing so, if you’d like.

Well, that was easier than expected. I thought I was going to have to deal with one of his tantrums. I’d already formed a reply in my head to rebut whatever he was going to say, so he caught me off guard and I found myself having to come off my defensive stance.

-Yes, I’d like that, I finally said after regaining my composure.

-Very well. Then it shall be done.

He gave me a nod to signal the end of the conversation and started walking away. He then stopped in his tracks, seemingly hesitating about something. I gave a perplexed look as he turned around and headed back towards me. He gracefully offered his hand to me, fingers curled around something. I looked down at it - a ticket stub.

-If you remember, I extended an invitation to our next concert before I… lost my temper. I know I originally rescinded it, but since you’ve been so gracious today, I thought you could get your privileges back.

As his voice trailed off, I suddenly remembered why he’d gotten on my nerves so much before. 

-What is this? Do you think you need to reward me for good behaviour like a dog?

His lips curled up in anger and his brow furrowed. I also noticed his hands twitched slightly as if to form fists. He then seemed to catch himself and cleared his throat, loosening his limbs and flipping the hair out of his eye.

-Honestly, Alice. I am doing this of my own accord and with no ill intent. I think it’s time we bury the hatchet. I find it unsightly to constantly be bickering with you like spoilt children for everyone to see.

I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes because he actually  _ was _ a spoilt child, but he was clearly showing a lot of restraint regarding the whole situation so I figured I’d be nice. I grabbed the ticket, muttered my thanks, and he was on his way. I sighed deeply and realized and my hands had been slightly shaking the whole time. When did I get so nervous?

***

-But you took the ticket, right?

I’d just gotten home from class and Ada had immediately hounded me about Ghirahim, wanting to know every single detail of the confrontation. She’d been ecstatic once I told her I wanted to patch things up with him, if only to make him stop being so ridiculous.

-Of course, I said, pulling it out of my jacket to show her, rolling my eyes.

She inched closer to get a good look.

-Oooh, it’s in a couple of weeks! That’s exciting.

-Well, at least that gives me some time to decide if I want to go or not.

-Alice! 

Ada looked scandalized, as if the mere idea of refusing Ghirahim’s invitation was unfathomable.

-What? I shrugged. If I don’t go, I’ll give you the ticket. I won’t let it go to waste.

She gave me an angry look, and muttered about how she didn’t think Ghirahim wanted me to give the ticket out to someone else.

-He invited you for a reason, Alice. After all, he-

-You better not-

-He likes you!

She’d preemptively run off while she was saying it so her bedroom door slammed behind her as soon as she finished her sentence. She knew I would chase her. I heard her giggle from inside. I wanted to scold her but I soon joined in the laughter, unable to stay mad at her for long.


	11. Chapter 11

Following our altercation, Ghirahim stopped avoiding me. He became strangely cordial, which was a behaviour he didn’t really display with anyone else. His haughty attitude seemed to dissipate once he saw me, as if he was letting his true personality show for a mere second. He’d nod and go “Alice,” acknowledging my presence, but never anything more than that. Of  course, it was still out of place for him, and that got people talking. Again. It was frustrating but for a different reason than usual, and I didn’t really know how to handle it.

Meanwhile, at home, Ada kept trying to convince me to go to the concert. That, coupled with the fact that Ghirahim had started texting me to the same effect, irritated me to no end. I could take Ada but I sure as hell hadn’t signed up to get harassed by Ghirahim _again._  I didn’t want a repeat of the few weeks leading up to the party. His behaviour was doubly strange this time, however, because he wouldn’t talk to me at school, either; he would just message me, incessantly begging to come to his show. I hit a point where I wanted to say no just to spite the both of them. And I did, just so they’d shut up and leave me alone, but deep down, I still hadn’t made up my mind. A few days before the show, I finally caved in. Ghirahim had sent me another text and I just wanted to be left in peace.

“Please, Alice. I promise it will be worth your time.”

“If I say yes, will you, for the love of God, leave me alone?”

It took a few minutes for him to reply. I couldn’t say for sure but I think he took that time to craft the perfect text message. He’d been bugging me so much, though, that I was willing to bet he was triumphantly parading around, at least mentally, at finally getting me to agree to go.

“Perfect. I will see you there. In the meantime, yes, I will leave you alone if you so wish.”

I rolled my eyes and muttered “whatever” under my breath. He’d harassed me for almost two weeks, yet he was playing it off as if it was nothing. I thought to myself, “Oh well. Worst comes to worst, I’ll just leave after a song or two.” That way, I wouldn’t have to see all the girls fawning over him. Just the thought made me want to gag.

It then hit me, how strange our relationship had become. I wouldn’t say we were friends, but we’d crossed a boundary from acquaintance into something else a while ago. It was hard for me to distinguish, seeing as I wanted to strangle him half the time. He irritated me almost constantly, but we’d suffered through a semester in a GNED together… and then there was the party. I couldn’t really describe how I felt about him after that other than annoyance, and the more I thought about it, the less it made sense. I rejected the idea, not wanting to get into it, and tried to steel myself for the concert.

That was another matter entirely. I didn’t know what to expect, or why Ghirahim had insisted so much that I go. Something had to be up and it could only mean trouble. I wished he’d given me a second ticket so I could bring Ada along but I also didn’t want to push my luck, so I’d just have to deal with it on my own. Deep down though, I was nervous. But I wasn’t about to say it out loud.

Since the semester had started again a few weeks earlier, we weren’t especially busy, so time felt like it was going at a really strange pace. By the time the concert came around, however, we were in the middle of the midterm rush. The whole school was talking about the gig and I think everyone was looking forward to it as a form of stress relief. I was just hoping to survive the night unscathed, considering what had happened the last time we’d spent time together outside of school. Plus, Ghirahim would be on stage this time, so it’s not like I could weasel away like at the party.

A few days before it was supposed to happen, I’d let it slip in a conversation with my mom that I was attending a concert and I immediately heard the smile in her voice over the phone.

-Oooh! Who’s playing? Do I know them?

-I mean, probably not. It’s this popular band from our school. The frontman is the dean’s son and everyone falls over themselves when he’s around for some reason.

-Does my daughter have a crush? You know you can tell me anything, honey.

She was almost pleading. I couldn’t really understand why my mom wanted me to have a boyfriend so bad, and have it be that knucklehead to boot. Then I remembered we had already kissed and I felt a rush of heat to my cheeks.

-No, mom, I don’t have a crush, jeez. He’s super pompous and it drives me nuts.

-Okay, okay.

I could tell by her tone that she was amused at my reaction; I’d spoken too fast, too angrily for her to believe me. But she thankfully didn’t push it.

-Alright, I gotta go, honey. Dinner’s almost ready. Let me know how the concert is! Your dad says hello. Love you!

-Love you too, mom. Bye.

I hung up and sighed. Why did everyone want me to like Ghirahim so bad? Even Ada was bugging me about it more than usual, pushing me to prepare a special outfit for the night of the show and offering to do my hair and makeup. I’d refused, knowing full well what she was trying to do but also not being comfortable looking like anything other than plain old Alice. At first, she’d seemed disappointed, then agreed with me that looking like myself would be best. I’d sighed in relief, dreading what a full night of makeover by Ada would feel and look like.

Ghirahim had made good on his promise to leave me alone, but every time he saw me in the corridors (which seemed to be an awful lot for someone whose major was supposed to be halfway across the school), he would do the same weird nod and go, “Alice,” except he looked like he was about to burst. Sometimes his voice would go up unnaturally high at the end of my name, as if he was holding in a laugh… or a secret? I’d never seen him like that, so I just ignored it, but when I thought about it, it was weird.

On the night of the concert, however, I was sat in my room, holding a shirt in each hand and three others sprawled out on my bed. I was way too busy putting an outfit together to even think about Ghirahim being weird to me the past two weeks. I couldn’t seem to decide what to wear, so no matter how much I’d refused Ada’s help, it looked like I was going to need it after all. I called for her down the hall; she was watching TV in the living room. I heard her immediately turn everything off and rush over to my room, then poke her head in slowly in a very calculated manner.

-Yes? She asked, almost unable to contain the tremble of anticipation in her voice.

-Can you… help me? I can’t pick a stupid outfit. I feel so dumb.

Her face broke out in a gleeful smile.

-But absolutely, dear friend. You won’t regret it.

She hopped and skipped to my bed, way too happy about it for my taste.

-Don’t make it weird! I only want something simple. Just pick out from whatever’s out here. That’s what I managed to narrow my choices down to.

She pouted for a second, then looked at her options. We ended up choosing a tunic-like dark red shirt to go with my black pants and silver necklace. It was plain, but it was me, and that’s all I wanted.

-Alright, thanks for your help, Ada. I guess I better go now, I sighed, looking at the time on my phone.

She accompanied me to the door and made sure to wave at me as I was walking down the hall, like a good mother waving her child off to school or something.

-Have fun! she shouted mischievously, before closing the door behind her.

I gave a small giggle and headed off.


	12. Chapter 12

When I got to the venue, doors had already been open for a bit. I was happy about it because I didn’t feel like waiting around in the late winter cold. I presented my ticket to the door guy, got my wrist stamped, and headed in.

-Ah, shit, I muttered, apprehensive.

As I stepped into the hall, I saw how packed it was. That, from the get go, made me nervous. I mean, I was already nervous to see what Ghirahim had up his sleeve, but the amount of people present fired off a different anxiety in me. I saw a couple familiar faces, either from seeing them at school or from Ryan’s party, and waved hello here and there. Thankfully, no one really wanted to make conversation with me. It seems I was one of the rare ones to have come alone.

The venue itself was a mid-size concert hall. Bar to the left, merch table towards the entrance/exit, and the stage itself at the back of the room. The lights were dimmed, which kind of made it hard to take it all in at first, but after a bit you could see all the filigree in the wood on the balcony and around the stage. The paint was badly chipped and the flooring was scuffed and uneven, but other than that, it was in pretty good shape.

The floor was already starting to get crowded. I knew they were popular, but I hadn’t really anticipated that Ghirahim’s band would be _that_ popular, considering I wasn’t sure how seriously he took it. I guess he took it seriously enough for these dedicated fans. I stood a little off to the side, not wanting to be in the thickest part of the mass of people, and waited for the lights to go out. The good thing was this venue had a green room, so I wouldn’t have to deal with Ghirahim until he took the stage.

The first band went on to some mild applause. They were a local electro-pop three piece with good energy and catchy riffs, but the crowd wasn’t particularly interested. I tried paying attention but everyone around me was still chatting, making it hard to hear properly. The band thanked the crowd after their 20-minute set was over, leaving room for a quick changeover for the second opening act, which was also a local band. However, they versed more into power pop, focusing less on synths in favour of bouncy guitar riffs. At that point, I was getting annoyed that no one seemed to be listening. I understood being here for the headliner, but these people could at least respect the efforts of the opening bands!

I easily pushed through the crowd towards the stage. I found a choice spot a few rows back, slightly off to the right. I wanted to get a good sense of this band and it was way easier to appreciate their sound without incessant chatter in my ears. My second mistake was staying there as they made their exit so Ghirahim and his bandmates could start their set. My first mistake, as would become apparent, was coming to the concert at all.

As the lights went out for a third and final time, signaling the band was about to come on, the crowd erupted. They pushed forward, trying to get closer to the stage, while screaming excitedly. I found myself squished between two tiny but overly energetic girls whose squeals sounded like nervous mice to me. I shoved both of them off so I could at least have room to breathe. Just as I was trying to regain my composure, Ghirahim and his band walked onto the stage.

Madness. It was madness. Everyone was pushing and pulling, trying to get a better view, and excitedly yelling. I longed for my quiet spot in the photo pit, back during the fall semester. As they started their first song, I managed to clear out a space around me. Good thing, too, because I was really starting to get pissed off with all these crazies and was getting close to just giving up and heading home.

-How is everyone doing on this fine evening?, inquired Ghirahim after he’d strummed the last chord from their entrance tune.

Screams from the crowd.

-Wonderful. It’s great to have you all here, we appreciate you coming out.

More screams.

-I hope you are all looking forward to having some fun with us tonight!

Yet more screams. They then resumed playing. The next few songs blurred together, as the sound was mostly drowned out by Ghirahim’s groupies yelling and singing along with him. I could tell he’d put on his “performance charm” but I wasn’t as hypnotized as the first time, which was a relief. Then, just as I was starting to think I’d shown face and was allowed to head back home without feeling bad, Ghirahim introduced the next song.

-This next one is brand new, and we’ve been working tirelessly to be able to present it tonight.

Excitement in the crowd was palpable. New material was always a treat. Then, out of the blue, Ghirahim locked eyes on me.

-I hope this song reaches its intended purpose. Without further ado...

I couldn’t believe it. He’d written a song about me? Jesus. I was completely flabbergasted. Nobody in the crowd seemed to have noticed he was looking directly at me. They were all busy fawning over the fact he’d looked in their general direction while I tried to make myself smaller. The opening riff kicked in, a measured beat on guitar, with the second guitar and drums joining in on the third bar. Then, eyes still trailed on me, Ghirahim started singing.

_When you go to sleep_

_Is there anyone on your mind?_

_No, you’re trying to find a way_

_To take away the pain_

_And act a fool to those around you every day_

_I won’t forget the way we said_

_We’d always love the same way_

 

_I want you all to myself_

_Want you all to myself_

The whole band was bobbing along the staccato rhythm Ghirahim was strumming. He would only take his eyes off me to focus on his guitar, or to close them for a second for emphasis. My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I could barely hear the high-pitched hysterical screams coming from all around me. Was he trying to be cute?

_When are we_

_Ever gonna find the time to slow down?_

_Woah, now_

_You said you’d leave me all to myself_

_I won’t forget the way we said_

_We’d always love the same way_

 

_I want you all to myself_

_Want you all to myself_

_I’m hoping you’ll find me_

_And pull me off the shelf_

_I want you all to myself_

_Want you all to myself_

The rest of the song got lost on me. My heartbeat was reverberating in my eardrums and I felt like I was falling backwards in slow motion. I couldn’t even pretend like I didn’t understand what Ghirahim was trying to do, but one question kept echoing through my mind. Why? Why? Why? Who the hell did he think he was? Why was he staring at me so intently? Even though my whole body was numb, I could feel my cheeks burning at his gaze. People were going to notice! They would notice he was gawking at me and then they would think there was something between us and they would talk again! The thought sent a pang of worry through my stomach. I couldn’t let that happen.

I balled my fists at my sides to stop my hands from twitching. I felt so embarrassed yet it was somehow manifesting as anger. That, or it was just my default reaction regarding him. He just kept on staring at me! I held his gaze, fuming, shaking nervously. I couldn’t process what was happening, but nonetheless I decided I would stay until the end, catch him as soon as loadout was done, and strangle the daylights out of him. My mind was racing with a million thoughts and my emotions were running so high I could barely focus, but at least that much was clear.

-I’m gonna murder him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in the chapter is All to Myself by Xprime, I suggest you go listen to it on Youtube because it's a great song and you'll have a better idea of the emotion/tone I was trying to convey in the chapter :)


	13. Chapter 13

Next thing I knew, I was resting my back on the wall to the left, nestled between two tall cocktail tables littered with plastic cups. I’d left the heart of the crowd as soon as  _ that  _ song was over, not even waiting to see Ghirahim’s smug look as it came to a close. From my little spot in the corner off to the side, I saw the panic flash in his eyes. He scanned the crowd and his on stage charm cracked for a second when he couldn’t find me. He soon shook it off, however, and the rest of the concert went without a hitch. I lazily looked around as the venue emptied itself of onlookers and the bands tore down their equipment. Ghirahim, of course, was nowhere to be found. I guessed he didn’t want to risk breaking a nail by lugging around the amps and all that. No matter. I sat quietly in my corner, biding my time. My phone buzzed as I was lost in thought.

“Have you left already? I’d like to see you if that is at all possible.”

I grinned to myself. He was going to deliver himself to me on a silver platter.

“No, I’m still here.”

“Perfect. Stay right where you are.”

I had no intention of moving, but he was almost making it too easy. As time went on, my antsiness grew. I also felt myself become more and more nervous as the minutes ticked by, which seemed weird. By the time he came out, I was verging on full-fledged panic. I  _ wanted  _ to be mad at him but something was stopping me. My stomach was in knots. I couldn’t explain the feeling, and I didn’t like it at all.

He calmly strode towards me. His hair was damp and he was patting his face dry with a small white towel. At the sight of him, something caught in my throat. I suddenly did not want to do this. At all.

-Hi there, he sheepishly grinned.

It was weird for him not to be surrounded by at least 5 people in a social situation. I gave him a quizzical look.

-I spent some time meeting fans after our set. Apologies for the delay.

That explained why it took him so long to come out. I tried to steady myself on the wall behind me to mask the fact that I was shaking.

-So… What did you think? Of the song?

His tone suggested I knew exactly what song he was talking about. And I did. Except my entire body was screaming at me to run away, so I couldn’t form coherent thoughts. I cleared my throat.

-I… don’t know why you would do that.

My voice had trembled, and seeing his face, he’d heard it clear as day. He shot me an annoyed look.

-Alice, really. It was the only way I could think of to properly convey my feelings without fear of repercussion. I wish you would admit to yourself how you really feel. Swallow your pride. I saw how you looked when we performed it.

-I don’t have feelings for you. Except the fact that you get on my nerves.

An angry look flashed on his face. He seemed to kick himself for it and just like that, it was gone. An exhausted expression took its place.

-I have already explained I refuse to bicker with you any longer. If you cannot admit there is something between us - if you cannot understand the message I was trying to deliver… I’m afraid this is goodbye. I cannot keep doing this, Alice.

For reasons I couldn’t fathom, tears welled in my eyes. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to be as angry at him as the night of the party. It would be so much easier. But he was pushing me into messy territory, and I was terrified. I hadn’t detangled that disaster since Christmas. Since the party. I hadn’t looked at myself sincerely since first semester had ended.

-I’m not… I can’t, I stuttered.

I took a deep breath, ignoring his eyebrow raised questioningly.

-I want to be mad at you. I really, really do. I mean, who the fuck pulls shit like that? But for some reason, I can’t, I can’t be mad at you, and I don’t know why, and I’m freaking out right now and I really just want to go home!

His stance immediately shifted to protective as he harbored a concerned look, trying to hug me.

-Don’t touch me!

I shoved his arms away with my forearms and rushed past him, catching a glimpse of his defeated look. I felt like my skin was on fire and if he touched me, I feared I would burst into flames. I frantically drove home as the lyrics to the song -  _ my song  _ \- bounced around my head. I was shaking, there was a hard lump in my throat, and I felt like crying. I hated it. I hated myself for feeling that way.

I then realized why Ghirahim had been so weird at school. The avoidance, the weird nods, the strange way he said my name. He liked me and he’d planned the whole thing from the start. He invited me to his stupid concert so he could play that dumb song he wrote about me and then what? Then we’d fall in love and live happily ever after? Oh, it was just like him to rationalize it that way! What a self-absorbed lunatic!

As I pulled into the parking lot at home, the anger was welling up again inside me. I started crying tears of what I assumed to be frustration. I furiously wiped them away and swung the door to our apartment open. I heard Ada’s voice calling my name from her room. She rushed to meet me, a smile plastered on her face, but it dropped as soon as she laid eyes on me.

-Alice, what happened?

-He wrote a stupid song about me! A song! He was staring at me while singing about wanting me all to himself! I’m so embarrassed! He stared at me the whole time. Dead on! I wanted to kill him and then I freaked out when he came to talk and I left and now I’m crying because I’m so pissed! I’m gonna strangle him! I spat, uncontrollable.

I started sobbing even harder for some reason. Ada gently approached me and gave me a hug.

-Oh, honey, she whispered.

Thankfully, she didn’t try to admonish me. She led me to my room and sat me down on the bed, rubbing circles on my back to calm me down. She stayed with me until the sobs subsided.

-Better? She asked, after the silence had stretched for a decent amount of time.

I nodded.

-Alice… I’m gonna tell you what I think, and I want you to listen and let me finish. I’ve thought about this quite a bit and I feel like I know you well enough to have a decent judgement about the whole situation.

I nodded again, apprehensively this time. She took a deep breath.

-I think you like him. I think you like Ghirahim, but he also gets on your nerves, and you hate yourself for liking him, because he is entitled, and selfish, and rude. That’s why you get so angry when anything about him is brought up. It’s easier to get pissed than to try to deal with your emotions. But I’m convinced you have some kind of feelings for him. I know you, Alice. Ever since he’s kissed you, you’ve been… different.

She looked at me with fear in her eyes, expecting me to blow up. I sat and thought about it for a long while before answering. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but... she was right. I’d been avoiding looking into my own emotions ever since the party had happened. I’d been running from myself, numbing myself by keeping busy, all in hopes of not having to think about my feelings. It was easier for me to tell myself Ghirahim was an asshole and get angry about anything he did because I was scared of what I’d find if I sat down and analyzed the situation better.

I didn’t want to like Ghirahim. It would be messy and terrible and there was no telling where that would take me. It was scary and new and I didn’t want any of it. I wanted to hate him. He annoyed me, and I wanted to strangle him on the regular, and he was a pompous idiot… but somehow, he’d wormed his way into my heart. The feelings felt fragile and small, but they were definitely there. I turned to Ada, eyes filling up with tears again at the realization.

-You’re… you’re right.

The words came out raspy and I broke into sobs again.


	14. Chapter 14

“I like Ghirahim.”

As I laid in bed that night, after Ada had managed to calm me down a second time, the only coherent thought I could form was bouncing around my head, drowning out anything else. I was staring at the ceiling as sleep was eluding me.

“I like Ghirahim.”

I groaned, putting a pillow over my head. There was really no reason for me to like him. It defied any logic, yet here I was.

“I like Ghirahim.”

I wanted my brain to shut up. I shot a look at my phone on the side table. No. That was a bad idea. Then my resolve cracked and, with a low growl, I swiftly turned on my side and grabbed it. No new notifications. I felt a pang of disappointment. I slowly hovered my thumb over my messaging app, then quickly pressed it without thinking. I stared at the conversation thread without opening it. I didn’t really know what I would say; I just felt the need to talk to him after everything had unfolded. I sighed and put my phone back down, deciding it would be better to sleep on it first. No telling what dumb stuff I would say in the midst of 2 am.

I don’t know what time I ended up falling asleep, but I once I woke up, I felt as tired as if I hadn’t closed my eyes. My brain must have been buzzing until I got so exhausted I just slipped into unconsciousness without noticing. I grabbed my phone to look at the time and immediately noticed the notification light blinking. My heart skipped a beat. I really didn’t want to get into it first thing in the morning. I also hadn’t had enough time to properly digest my own emotions. However, my anxieties quelled as I saw the simple message.

“Alice?”

That I could easily deal with. I think he’d purposely just sent me that so as not to scare me by getting into the heavy stuff right away. I was thankful for it because he gave me an opening. He’d sent it to me several hours earlier. Either he hadn’t slept yet or he’d sent it right after he got up.

“I’m fine.”

He answered almost right away.

“Anything you would like to discuss?”

“Not right this moment, no.”

I stared at the screen for a few moments, mentally crossing my fingers he’d leave me alone until I could sort out my emotions. He replied with “okay,” then my phone went silent. Thank god.

Seeing as the show had been on a Friday, I had the whole weekend to myself. I knew I would need it. I spent the next two days sitting in my room in pajamas eating junk food and watching movies. Ada would occasionally come and check on me, and we’d chat. We’d mostly make fun of Ghirahim and that helped me make the whole situation less dreadful in my head - he was just a person, after all. We also had some serious talks about the whole thing here and there but nothing too invested. Every so often, I’d remind myself that I liked him,  hoping the repeated revelation would desensitize me. I couldn’t really tell if it’d worked; my heart still lept in my chest every time the thought came to mind.

Why him? Of all the people at school, all the people I’d ever met, it had to be him. Why? I tried not torturing myself too much over it, but the question came back incessantly. I hoped by the time Monday rolled around, I would stop feeling like such an idiot for it, but I wasn’t fooling myself. I felt like it would take way more than two days to undo such deep-rooted disgust, both for him and myself. I kept alternating between feeling giddy that I ended up liking a guy who liked me and berating myself for allowing these feelings to overcome the wall I’d built around myself, especially in his case. I sighed. We sure as hell weren’t out of the woods yet.

Unfortunately, the next step would be dealing with Ghirahim directly. I had a feeling I would hear from him before the end of the day and he’d want to set up a meeting. I’d been subconsciously sabotaging all the previous ones so I knew I would be cornered this time. I felt he might completely cut me out of his life if it came down to it, but I couldn’t really see either of us taking it well, considering how stubborn we both were. I guess we would have to swallow our pride.

Sure enough, just as I’d predicted, Ghirahim sent me a text message as the afternoon was turning into evening. I read it, feeling a mix of dread and excitement. I don’t think these were emotions I’d ever felt in conjunction before.

“Feeling any better?”

It was weird for him to be concerned over me. I hoped the novelty of it all would fade, and quick. I didn’t particularly like feeling vulnerable, especially when it came to Ghirahim.

“I guess. You want to meet up to talk I’m assuming?”

“...Yes. Am I to presume that you being so casual about it means you have finally analyzed your feelings?”

There it was. My heart started pounding.

“I’m tired of running, I’d say.”

With that, I’d managed to dodge the question without completely dismissing him. I didn’t really want to put it over text just yet. In person felt more appropriate. He took a few extra minutes to respond, and I could just about picture the annoyed snarl on his face.

“A childish way to avoid responding, but I’ll let it go for now. We will talk tomorrow.”

We set up a meeting time and place. I wanted it to be private, just in case. So we ended up booking a study room at school, one of the smaller ones cramped at the end of a hallway so no one would bother us. I spent the remainder of the day a nervous wreck. I figured sleep would elude me again that night.

***

My monday classes flew by, but it was mostly because I was so nervous I couldn’t hear what the teachers were saying. I was hyper fixating on their mouths without being able to make sense of the words they were uttering. As the bell signaling the lunch hour rang, my phone buzzed. It was Ada.

“Good luck! I believe in you!!! And if anything goes wrong, I’m punching him in the face and buying you a pizza to cheer you up!! <3”

Her support gave me a tiny boost of confidence. It was nice to know she’d be there for me no matter the outcome. I headed to the study room, feeling like I was walking to my own death. My heart was beating in my ears and my mouth was dry. When I didn’t see Ghirahim inside, I looked around the corner, half expecting him to be leaning against the wall. He was nowhere to be found. I thought how much I wanted to get this over with and how me having to wait on Ghirahim meant my idiot brain would churn until he showed up. I opened the door, plopped my backpack on the ground, and sat down with a sigh.

By the time he decided to make his appearance, I was holding my head in my hands on the table and bouncing my leg in anticipation. I heard the door click and immediately shot up from my crumpled position.

-My, Alice, I don’t think I have ever seen you so… undone.

He tried to hide the fact he was as nervous as I was behind long, drawn-out syllables. His drawl was usually already a little slow, except when he was angry, but he was purposely speaking even slower. To hide the quiver in his voice? He sat down in front of me. I could barely even look his way. My heart was beating so hard and loud I was afraid he could hear it across the table.

-So… where to begin?

-It feels like every time we get together like this, it ends in disaster, doesn't it? Like either one of us is always on the verge of blowing up, I blurted, wringing my hands.

He gave a slight chuckle and I couldn’t help cracking a smile. What a pair we made. He took a deep breath and went to launch himself into what I figured would be a long tirade. I pictured a bandage in my head. Fast and in one go.

-Ever since that ni-

-I think I like you too?


	15. Chapter 15

My voice had gone up at the end of my sentence as if to ask a question without me meaning to. But even then, that stopped him dead in his tracks. He looked at me with wide eyes. We sat in silence for what felt like several minutes but was probably more like 15 seconds. I thought I was going to puke.

-I mean-

-Is that… so?

He was staring at me intently. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. I looked down to try to conceal my face behind my hair. I started speaking very fast, without thinking, and without much pause for breath. The thing with me is that I’d never had a boyfriend. Never really dabbled in dating. As I’ve mentioned, I’m not one for parties and social gatherings, so other people were busy experimenting while I stayed home. To my knowledge, no one had ever liked me. So not only was this entire experience new to me, but it also had to be the most popular, arrogant, and annoying guy at school, whom I’d spent my entire college life wanting to choke out. I was less than ready to handle the situation. That, coupled with my regular awkwardness and the fact that I was angry at myself for even liking him, made for a really bad combination.

-Don’t make this weird, please. I had enough trouble coming to the realization itself and now I have to deal with the consequences. Honestly, I really hate myself for allowing you that much leverage on me. I really don’t know how you ended up… doing that even though you infuriate me on a daily basis.

I shot him a quick glance. I could see the shadow of a grin play on his lips. My confession probably calmed all of his worries and now he was feeling very smug with himself.

-I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I don’t know if I  _ want  _ anything to happen. I just felt like it would be better for the both of us if it was out there so that we could both move on from this, one way or another. I’ve never… had this happen before. I feel so stupid. You better not tell me this is another one of your games. I swear to god I will burn your house down if you’re using me as a pawn.

He paused to think. Interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them. Looked directly at me. But strangely, there was no animosity in his eyes even though I’d just threatened him. No anger. No smugness. I couldn’t describe what I was seeing on his face, so I looked away again.

-Alice.

I gulped. He’d said my name the same way before he’d kissed me at the party. I slowly turned my eyes to him. Just then, I noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual scarf. A slouchy red beanie had taken its place, strikingly dark against his whitish hair. I hated how much it suited him.

-Upon my dead body. For what kind of person you take me, I do not know, but I would in no way lie about something like this. Matters of the flesh, sure. But matters of the heart? Never. I am not that much of a monster. I’m offended, frankly.

-Wait, did you just say “sex” in your weird roundabout way?

I couldn’t help it. It’d caught my attention. He sighed, looking slightly annoyed.

-Yes, Alice. I am talking about sex.

I giggled nervously, trying to cut the tension.

-In any case. I do not see why we could not be together. I’ve made clear my feelings for you at the concert. And now you have reciprocated. There doesn’t seem to be an issue.

-Ugh, gross.

-Stop being childish, he admonished as he was cracking an amused smile.

-Just because I like you doesn’t mean you get to boss me around, Deluca.

A rosy glow spread on his cheeks and he had to work very hard to abstain from smiling. I’d never seen him like this. He looked like a giddy schoolgirl. I’d rendered Ghirahim out of commission. I felt strangely powerful.

-Anyway, like I said. I don’t know what I want from this, if anything at all. So don’t get any funny ideas. I just figured I would tell you. Clear the air.

-Very well. I appreciate your honesty.

He stood up and went to leave, but before doing so, he quickly grabbed my hand and gently kissed my fingers.

-I shall wait, he breathed, bowing slightly.

-Keep my hands in my pocket next time. Duly noted, I quipped, rolling my eyes at him.

I couldn’t hide the fact that my cheeks were burning, however. As he left the room, a slight chuckle escaped his lips before the door clicked back into place. As soon as I saw him turn the corner (I think I could still hear him chuckling to himself), I collapsed on the table.

-Oh my god, I whispered as the adrenaline exited my bloodstream.

***

The remainder of the day went by without a hitch, which I attributed to the fact I was poring over my lectures as if my life depended on it. Now that the conversation with Ghirahim had been taken care of, I needed to shift my focus onto something else. I didn’t want to be one of those daydreaming, lovingly sighing girls who obsessed over boys. Plus, like I’d mentioned to him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to even invest in the relationship. Ada had asked how it all went but I only told her it went fine and said I’d explain in greater detail once I got home.

Knowing she shouldn’t push, she was quietly sitting in the living room, watching TV when I got home. A takeout bag from a local burrito place was sitting in front of her on the coffee table. When she heard me close the door, she stood up, excited, and gestured to everything with an adorable little “ta-dah!”

-You’ve done all of this for me? Oh, Ada, you really didn’t need to!   
  
I really appreciated it, however. The past week had been a whirlwind of emotions and I needed to relax and eat crappy comfort food while hanging out with my friend. We sat down and she gave me an eager look, excited to hear how everything had gone. Thankfully, she gave me the time to eat as we watch an inane show on TV. But as soon as we were done, however, she turned to me, her eyes wide, her smile even wider.

I recounted our interaction. As her smile kept spreading, so did the heat on my face. When I got to the end, I omitted to tell her about the kiss on my hand, not wanting her to get any ideas, but also feeling strangely jealous of it. It had been meant for me, and me alone, and I didn’t want to share it with even Ada. Not yet anyway. After I was done, she sighed dreamily, giving me an expectant grin.

-Don’t look at me like that. I told him I didn’t know what I wanted from this. Just wanted to get it out of the way.

-Well, from what I know of him, he’s not gonna give up that easily.

-He  _ is  _ a stubborn idiot, so you’re probably right, I sighed, recalling his whispered promise.

I couldn’t tell if the pit in my stomach came from nervousness or something else, and I didn’t really want to think about it. I’d just spent several days analyzing my feelings only to find out I liked Ghirahim, which was horrible in itself, so I didn’t want to focus on it anymore. I needed time to get the whole situation out of my head. Thankfully, Ada seemed to catch on to that. She dropped the subject but still had that twinkle in her eye.  We spent the rest of the night watching stupid reality shows and making fun of them, which allowed me to switch my focus. I was really grateful to have Ada as a friend that night.


	16. Chapter 16

The next few weeks were.... strange. I kept running into Ghirahim, which I’d figured out he was doing on purpose at that point, and every time he’d see me, he’d grin. It looked smug at first but it was something else upon closer inspection. My heart would leap in my chest, my cheeks would go red and I would try to run away from him as quick as possible, which seemed to amuse him even more. He was trying to hang out with me, texting me relentlessly about it, but I wasn’t into the idea at all. Ada kept trying to gently nudge me into that direction but it only made me recoil even more. On the other hand, however, we seemed to be getting better at carrying somewhat normal conversations. We were still bickering, and I would lose my cool, but Ghirahim seemed hell-bent on us becoming, if not a couple, then friends. He was trying really hard to contain his anger and cut back on the snark when it came to me... to varying degrees of success.

As the weeks rolled by, my focus was able to shift more onto school. Midterms had come and gone, and we were inching ever closer to finals. More than that though, me liking Ghirahim didn’t seem to bother me as much. Sure, I was annoyed because it was him, but the disgust seemed to fade over time. It didn’t feel as visceral as when I first realized it. It just became a thing that I was feeling, and while I wouldn’t say it felt totally normal, I definitely started getting comfortable with it. So, after weeks of him pleading, and me being torn between wanting to say no and my desire to hang out with the guy I liked, I finally caved. Ghirahim was absolutely ecstatic. I felt a bit giddy myself, but I was better at concealing it.

“You won’t regret this. We’ll have a great time. Promise.”

“That’s funny because the last time you said that, you basically confessed to me through song in the middle of a sold out concert and then I had a mental breakdown.”

I was being snarky, I knew it, but I couldn’t resist. I didn’t want to make it too easy for him.

“...”

I had to stifle my laughter at his reply; picturing his dumbfounded face was somehow hilarious to me. I was sat in class and my professor, Mrs. Fitzpatrick, didn’t take kindlc to interruptions. She was a middle-aged lady who was known around school for wearing her hair into a tight bun and being ruthless when it came to grading. She had very clear rules about her classroom and anyone caught breaking them would have hell to pay. At the throaty noise I made, she turned to me and gave me a look behind her rectangle-shaped glasses that meant “Put that phone away or else” and I complied but not before quickly replying to Ghirahim.

“Just kidding. Gotta go.”

Once class was done, I pulled my phone back out of my pocket. I was about to read Ghirahim’s reply when I bumped into... Ghirahim. 

-Sorr- oh my god, Ghirahim, stop following me around, you weirdo!

I was trying to conceal that my heart had lept in my chest behind sarcasm; a defense mechanism.

-Hello there.

-Can you back up?  You’re in my bubble.

His arms were linked behind his back and he was making up for our difference in height by leaning towards me. His face was too close to mine for my taste, so I pushed him away, just far enough for him to be able to look at me while standing. That seemed to throw him off for a second.

-In any case. Regarding our earlier conversation, I will be at your apartment this Saturday at one o’clock sharp.

-Unless you plan on staying there for six hours, that’s not gonna work, buddy.

 His eyes turned to suspicious slits.

-Are you... toying with me? Why agree to see each other if you’re then going to refuse? 

-Calm down, I picked up a shift that day, that’s all. I can do Sunday.

I knew for a fact he didn’t have (or need) a job, so he would be available any day. I also had a feeling he would bend over backwards to make it work no matter what day I suggested.

-Oh. Um. Alright, then. Sunday, same time. I will pick you up from your apartment.

I nodded and he sauntered off, looking satisfied with himself. I shook my head in amusement, but deep down, I was nervous. However, I knew Ada would be stoked. As he went to turn the corner, a thought suddenly hit me.

-Wait! Is this a date?

He turned around smoothly on his heels without breaking his stride and gave me an enigmatic smile.

-Is this a date?, I yelled more insistently.

He turned back around, chuckling, and disappeared in the hallway.

***

Once Sunday rolled around, I was a nervous wreck, and it was really starting to piss me off. I didn’t want it to affect me as much as it did, yet here I was, and I kept beating myself up over it. Which only made it worse. All the while, the question “is this a date?” kept floating around my head.

-Alice. Look at me.

Ada had rushed into my room as soon as I’d called her, hearing the panic in my voice. She clasped both her hands on either side of my face and forced me to look her in the eye.

-Calm the hell down! Breathe or I swear to god I’ll punch you.

I focused on her, and we matched our breathing. She made me take deep breaths until my heart rate went down and my hands stopped shaking.

-But Ada, what if it’s a date?

-Then you can brag about going on a date with the most popular guy in school. Now focus!

Ada might seem like she was carefree, but she had a good head on her shoulders. She could be relied on when you needed her, like right now as she kicked into Mom Friend mode. She helped me put my outfit together, again, and stayed with me until we heard the knock on the door. She rushed to it, all too happy to open it and came face to face with Ghirahim. He was looking somewhere above her head; I suspected he was nervous, too.

-Oh, um, hello. I am here to pick up Alice.

-I know. Come on in, she’ll be ready in a sec.

He stepped in, looking rather uncomfortable. He was wearing an unbuttoned dark denim jacket with a plush-looking light grey sweater underneath, fairly tight black pants, and sneakers I expected cost more than my rent. His familiar scarf was curled around his neck. He was always wearing nice clothes thanks to his seemingly unlimited funds, but these were... nicer than usual. Oh, boy. He’d put in actual effort. I felt a pit in my stomach as we walked out; I turned around to give Ada a panicked look on the way out. She gave me a thumbs up but I could see she was desperately trying not to laugh. After the door had closed behind me and I caught up to Ghirahim in the hallway, a heavy silence slid in between us. I figured we were both way too nervous about the whole thing, and was starting to believe it was a bad idea after all. I gave him a sideways glance:

-So... where are we going?

It took him a few extra seconds to respond. Either he’d been daydreaming or it just took my words that long to sink in.

-Ahem. My apologies. I’m taking you shopping.

-Hold on. You’re taking me to the mall? Really?

As dates go, even I, with my limited experience, could tell this was a lame choice. He gave me a satisfied smirk.

-Not just any mall.

We exited the building. He guided me to a fancy-looking black sedan that was parked as far away from other cars as possible. I recognized the emblem; it was a luxury brand. Not exactly incognito.

-It’s my father’s, he explained, his cheeks reddening as he opened the passenger side door for me.

He’d never seemed embarrassed of his wealth before. I sat in the car, amazed at how plush it was, suddenly feeling very conscious of the social classes separating us. We were nowhere close to being the same level. Why Ghirahim would put that aside to hang out with me, I couldn’t understand. We drove off as I stared out the window, my chin in my hand, my heart beating too fast for my taste.


	17. Chapter 17

Ghirahim’s plan became clear when we pulled into the shopping centre’s parking lot. I’d never been myself but I’d heard of it. It was a high-end mall, every shop carrying a different luxury brand. Now, to be fair, anything above your generic clothing store was luxury in my book, but these were actual fancy boutiques. I’d heard the names, Versace, Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, Michael Kors, but I’d never seen the stores with my own eyes. I felt extremely out of place and uncomfortable. I gave Ghirahim a pointed look, refusing to step out of the car.

-Why did you bring me _here?_

-I told you I was taking you shopping, didn’t I? If you’re going to be seen with me, you need to look the part. Plus, from what I’ve seen, your wardrobe deserves a little spoiling. My treat.

He seemed very pleased with himself, as if he was doing me a huge favour. I blinked owlishly at him, trying to figure out if he was sincere or not.

-...what?

He was.

-Oh. My god. Take me back home.

He gave me an incredulous look.

-You heard me! Take me home.

-But… why? What did I do?

The fact that he didn’t understand why I was upset made me even more angry.

-I swear I could strangle you! You’re unbelievable. First of all, I’m not your possession. Second, I will  _not_ change for anyone, especially not you. You can have me as is or not at all. Third, I don’t want your charity. I’m fine with my clothes, I didn’t ask for your rich person pity. Fourth, if you try to give someone a gift, try to word it a little less like you’re doing them a favour! Have you ever heard of the word selfless? I thought you’d grown a brain since last time but I was wrong!

I saw his jaw clench; there was a tight line forming between his eyebrows. I honestly didn’t care if he was angry at that point. He was in the wrong and nothing would make me think otherwise. He tried to shake it off, but his hands were still gripping the wheel. He attempted to form a sentence but his thoughts wouldn’t string together.

-I- hmm. I should have expected something like this. It’s not really surprising. Nothing ever goes according to plan when it comes to you and I.

My voice went up an octave or two from sheer anger.

-And whose fault is that?

He hit the wheel with his closed fist and made a sound that could only be described as a muffled angry yell. He took a deep breath and turned to me, trying very hard not to explode:

-Alice. Please. Let us not fight. I apologize if I worded my intentions wrong. I… forget myself sometimes. Let me make it up to you. Do you like frozen desserts? They make a gelato here that’s simply delicious.

I stared him down for a few seconds, gauging how sincere his apology was. He still seemed somewhat irritated, but he had done a really good job of stifling his pure anger, which was unusual. I sighed, and agreed. After all, we’d come all this way, and if he wanted to make it up to me by buying me food, fine by me. The gelato place was our first stop.

As it turns out, gelato is just fancy sorbet; I’d never had it before. He settled for a strange matcha green tea and black sesame combo, while I opted for a more conservative chocolate hazelnut flavour. I thanked him, feeling like I’d just accepted a bribe. It always felt like Ghirahim and I were at odds, like one had to win over the other, and while I liked to think of myself as more reasonable than he was, I also hated to “lose” to him. I could feel his eyes boring into me as we walked around, eating out of our tiny cups. My cheeks reddened.

-What?

He shook his head and looked away, whispering “nothing” to nobody in particular. I gave him a look and he turned back to me, clearing his throat. As expected of us, the rest of our outing went… rockily. Ghirahim kept insisting he wanted to buy me, if not an entire wardrobe, at least _something_. Which, considering the price tag of most of these stores, was completely ridiculous. I was against it, and Ghirahim kept arguing with me. I didn’t even want to step foot into a changing room because I knew I’d already have lost at that point. After a while, he balled his fists and hissed between gritted teeth:

-Alice. At least let me buy you something. Just one thing. As a... gift. Please.

-No. While I appreciate the gesture, these stores are stupidly expensive. I understand this might not mean much to you but I don’t want or need something that pricey. You bought me food, isn’t that enough for now?

-No, he said softly, sounding defeated.

His tone sent a jolt of something through my veins. Compassion? Sadness? Excitement? Or was it affection? I pushed down the emotion, ashamed of myself. I held my ground and refused to let Ghirahim buy me anything, to his great dismay. He kept mumbling sullenly to himself about it. After a store or two, I got tired of his sulking.

-Listen, man. You either stop acting like this or you drive me home right now. I didn’t really plan on having to babysit today, so stop pouting.

I was taking a gamble and I knew it; my threat would either irritate him even more or make him rein it in. He looked at me, thought for a second, then spoke carefully:

-You’ve made it very clear you don’t need or want any of these clothes. How about if I get you something that you will use on a regular basis? Would that be more acceptable?

I ran my hand on my face and sighed.

-You really don’t get it, do you?, I mumbled.

Ghirahim looked even more defeated than before. I was kinda starting to feel bad for making him so miserable. I racked my brain for a way to turn it around, and suddenly got an idea. I gave him a wicked grin:

-I have an idea. Let’s go.

I grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him along towards the exit, ignoring his indignant protesting. Once we got to the car and I let him go, he admonished me:

-Alice, for crying out loud, what are you doing?

-I’m turning this bad date around.

-This is a date?, he questioned, raising his eyebrow.

-Shut up, get in the car, and drive to the address I give you.

I made him drive to the arcade. I was sure he’d never been before, and I was tired of dealing with the arguing. I wanted to have fun and make him stop thinking about those stupid expensive clothes. Well, it worked. When we arrived, our eyes had to adjust to the dimness. The lights were low to be able to experience the different glowing machines in all their glory. The place wasn’t full, but there were a few people here and there, so the ambient noise was a mix of video game music, clicking sounds, and various sound effects. Ghirahim looked completely out of place, but he seemed mesmerized by the whole deal.

As it turns out, Ghirahim hadn’t played many video games growing up. His mother (which I’d never heard him mention before) insisted they would rot his brain, and his father wouldn’t spend a dime on consoles. They pushed him to have “more noble” hobbies: read, play outside, or play music, which is how he picked up guitar. Well, lucky for me, because I ended up obliterating him at any game we tried our hand at… except one. He was suspiciously gifted at this one dancing game, the kind you stand on a pad and hit the arrows with your feet as they come up on the screen.

-You swear you’ve never played this before?

-I promise! Is it really that surprising if you consider my musical training?

-Just because you have good rhythm doesn’t mean you’ll be able to hit the arrows correctly, I reasoned, scrutinizing him.

That was the only incident. Other than that, we spent several hours playing games, laughing, joking… having fun. It was the most time we’d spent without wanting to strangle each other and it was the closest we’d ever come to a normal, friendly relationship. I tried erasing the thought from my mind once it came around, but that only made it worse. Thankfully, Ghirahim declared we should head home shortly thereafter, but not before getting the high score on the dancing game and spending his hard-earned tickets on a stuffed fox which he then gave to me with a satisfied smirk.

-To make up for not letting me buy you anything.

I narrowed my eyes to slits. I couldn’t really refuse but I wanted to wipe the look off his face. I grabbed the plushie and mumbled my thanks, again feeling like I’d accepted a bribe. Ghirahim then drove me home and insisted on walking me up to my apartment. I knew Ada would most likely put her ear to the door once she heard us coming, which is why I didn’t want him to, but he did it anyway. We stopped in front of my door and Ghirahim cleared his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. He then trailed his eyes on me before speaking:

-I… I had fun today.

-I mean, it started off pretty bad, and it became fun thanks to me…

For someone so arrogant, it’s like Ghirahim had never heard of sarcasm. He gave me an offended look as I fiddled nervously with the stuffed fox in my hands.

-I’m kidding. I had fun too. Um… thanks. Bye.

I hurried into my apartment before he could say or do anything else and closed the door, feeling relieved even though my heart was still in my throat. Ada was inconspicuously sitting at the kitchen table and staring right at me, a grin floating on her lips. I waited until Ghirahim’s footsteps slowly receded before letting out a loud groan.


End file.
